


Dave and Karkat: Be Kinky and Perfect for Eachother

by Red_Script



Series: Dave and Karkat: Be Angsty and Kinky Teens [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Timeline, Angst, Biological Anomalies, But Still Kinda in Character, Chubby Karkat, Chubstuck, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Force-Feeding, Has a Plot (Kinda), Kinda Smutty (???), M/M, Mpreg, Out of Character, chubbykink, dom!Dave Strider, pregnant!Dave Strider, sub!Karkat Vantas, weird alien biology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-02-02 06:17:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12721212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Script/pseuds/Red_Script
Summary: A post-SBURB/SGRUB fanfiction where Dave Strider and Karkat Vantas are together, Karkat is chubby, Dave really likes his chubby boyfriend, Dave is pregnant, and a plot begins later on.-Slow updates because the author is unmotivated 99% of the time.-





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I dunno, man. This is my first fanfic on here.

 

Karkat Vantas silently walks across the meteor from the designated "kitchen", carefully balancing his snack on a metal tray he'd alchemized for this very reason. It was sturdy, large, and wouldn't break easily. He'd gone through at least fifteen others before finding the correct- er, whaddaya call 'em?- dimensions. He'd also gotten used to this sneaking around late at night, since it was safer and didn't include any awkward interactions.  
     Until tonight. The troll gets to his respiteblock, closes his door, and places the large tray on the table near his husktop. "I swear to YOUR FUCKING GOD I'M GOING TO GO IN THERE AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU, STRIDER!" Karkat screams at the wall, through which he could hear loud (and shitty) music blasting. His eye twitching, Karkat sits down at his husktop and glares at the blank screen. It hadn't worked in three weeks, and he had no fucking clue how to fix it. He was pretty sure that, when he'd originally tried, he'd just fucked it up even more.  
     The troll sighs, leaning back in his chair and looking down, his hands slowly moving to his soft midsection. They shift down to the hem of his turtleneck, pulling it off of him with a sigh. His clothes were getting to be a little too tight. He'd need to alchemize himself some new ones soon, if not the next day. He sighs again, reaching silently for the tray.

The next morning, Karkat shoves his pillow over his face and groans angrily when he hears his door open and close. "Karkat?" a motherly voice asks curiously. A few seconds of silence pass, then the owner of the voice sighs. "Karkat, it is just me. Please look up." He does, hiding most of his face with the pillow clutched in his hands.  
     Kanaya Maryam sits down on the bed beside him. They didn't have recuperacoons; when they'd tried to alchemize some, they'd just turned to the usual slime. It led to many sleepless nights before the trolls finally got used to the lack of sopor slime surrounding them. "Why am I like this, Kanaya?" Karkar murmurs, shoving his face back into the pillow. She was the only one he could talk to. "What the fuck is wrong with me?"  
     The female troll places a hand on Karkat's back. "There is nothing wrong with you, Karkat," Kanaya says calmly. "I will suggest you take a shower before leaving your room, though. I can clean up the mess." The short troll looks at Kanaya guiltily, opening his mouth to speak. Kanaya smiles slightly. "Go on."  
     Karkat slowly sits up, suddenly self-conscious when his blanket falls off of his body. He looks away from Kanaya as his face burns red, quickly grabbing the blankets and pulling them over himself so Kanaya can't see the damage he'd done. But she does see, and Karkat sighs, long and low. "Why the fuck am I even trying to hide it?" he mutters, letting the blanket drop away. "You already know everything about me."  
     The female troll takes one look at Karkat and helps him out of his bed. "You have been happy as of late," she says simply, "so I will accept whatever it is that is making you happy. Even if it has a... more negative consequence to your personal looks." She frowns slightly. "I will ask you one more time, Karkat; are you certain you prefer yourself this way?"  
     Slowly, the short troll nods. "Yeah, I do," he replies. "Also, I... kind of need some new clothes. Mine are a little small on me..." he quickly escapes into his bathroom and starts running his shower.  
     As he waits for the water to warm up, Karkat looks himself in the mirror. He frowns slightly, tilting his head to the side as he stares at himself straight on. Other than the fact that he only looked a little bigger, there was no way for someone to notice anything off about him from the front, especially because he always wears- wore- baggy shirts and jeans. He turns to look at himself sideways, and he frowns deeply when his eyes drop to his stomach, with juts out awkwardly in front of him. He touches it gently, his fingers sinking in only half an inch before stopping. He overstuffed himself the night before.  
     Letting out a long sigh, Karkat hops into the shower.

 

The hours of the night pass slowly for Dave Strider.  
     He wasn't able to sleep, so he decided to blast his music and sneak over to check out Karkat. He'd watched for over an hour as the troll ate what appeared to be at least three-quarters of the leftovers left in the fridge from their dinner earlier. Karkat hadn't noticed Dave; he never did, and Dave decided it was for the best. After all, what kind of cool kid watched one of his best bros eat? The cool kid that was doing exactly that, that is who.  
     The next morning, when Dave wakes up from a restless night of hot Karkat imagery, he sighs deeply and rolls out of his bed. He leans against a wall, slamming his head repeatedly against it. "Why. The. Fuck. Am. I. Such. A. Fucking. Creep." After each word, he smacks his head against the wall. He glances over at his bedside table, eyeing his phone. Then he yelps when he hears his bedroom door click open.  
     "Dave," his ecto-sister sighs, "I would be highly appreciative if you would abstain from slamming the back of your head against the wall separating our rooms." Dave huffs and sits down with his back against the wall. He didn't bother to wear his shades; Rose Lalonde had seen him without them enough. Rose sighs and sits beside him. "Problems with Karkat again?"  
     "Yeah," Dave replies quietly. He glances at his ecto-sister out of the corner of his eye. "It's really fucking weird, y'know? I'd never been attracted to him before, but now... Rose, is there something wrong with me?"  
     Rose tilts her head to the side curiously. "I may, if you ever decide to explain to me what you are currently attempting to relay to me."  
     Dave runs a hand through his white-blond hair. "It's just... I never gave Vantas a second glance before, and now that he looks so fucking adorable, I just... want him, I guess? I dunno." He blushes and hides his face for a second before his cool facade returns and he can look up again. "And since the Internet isn't a thing anymore, I can't exactly search up 'Hey, why the fuck do I find my chubby best bro attractive all of a sudden?' Because fuck, I do." He lets out another annoyed huff. "I just wanna, like, kiss him and touch his really fucking adorable belly because god damn it looks soft and shit, and I wanna fuckin' kiss that belly too, and just... damn it. I mean, I kinda liked him beforehand, but now? It fucking drives me insane that I can't touch him or anything. I tried to before, but he fucking cussed me out and tried to fucking stab me with those fucking weapons of his. How the fuck do I tell him any of this? Am I going crazy? Why the fuck am I so fucking into those stuffing sessions he has when he's in his room? Like, goddamn, I can hear his moans and shit through the fucking walls, and one day I just had to fucking see what he was so fucking into because shit, what if he was watching porn or some shit? I needed him to hook me up. But no, I found him shoving food in his face with his fucking bulge out in the open like 'sup, I'm just fucking chillin' and shit' and like trying to get all up into his... nook, I think it's called? I'd be lying if I said I didn't stick around, or get really fucking turned on at that. Shit, why am I saying this to my sister? That's so fucking weird, dude." He looks at Rose, blushing again. Rose was just sitting with her back to the wall, watching him as he rambles. "You're the smart one on this hellhole we call a meteor. Why the fuck do I-"  
     "Find Karkat attractive now that he has pudge?" Rose finishes his sentence casually. Dave looks away again. "I believe there was a sort of community back when Earth wasn't destroyed. I believe they called it... feedism? I'm not certain, but that may be a term to describe your interest in Karkat." Dave blinks. "Basically, you become sexually aroused- or find it highly attractive- when you or another individual gains weight. I don't claim to have much knowledge in such practices. Just know that it's normal, Dave." She stands up. "Come on."  
     Dave quickly follows Rose after throwing on his shades. "Where are we going?" he asks curiously.  
     "Karkat's room." Rose takes Dave in a steel grip and drags him out of the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave finds himself in Karkat's respiteblock as the mentioned troll is coming out of the shower. Things ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With school, work, homework, and practicing my saxophone, I have been busy. Plus, my laptop's keyboard stopped working, it doesn't recognise a battery, and the webcam derped ages ago. Also, I am an innocent human. I just thought you should know that before judging this chapter too harshly.

Karkat expected his secret to get out at some point. In fact, he'd memorized an entire rant about it being his body, his life, and he could do what he wanted with them. There were many different ways he'd prepared himself for it; he imagined someone other than Kanaya walking into the room and seeing him. He visioned the awkwardness that would ensue with Terezi if she smelled him. He thought about the long, heartfelt conversation he'd have with Gamzee if the juggalo troll found out. He knew Kanaya had likely told Rose, so he wasn't worried about her seeing him.  
     But there was one person Karkat had forgotten about. When Karkat finished his shower, leaving the bathroom completely naked (as he'd forgotten any form of clothing), prepared to simply curl back up in his bed and rest for a while longer. Instead, his gaze fixates on a blond-haired, stoic human sitting on the grey sheets. When Dave looks up and they make eye contact, Karkat's entire body freezes up. The two have an intense staredown, yellow and grey-red eyes to dark shades, before Karkat finally manages a, "What are you doing in my respiteblock?!"  
     Dave smirks ever so slightly, his hidden eyes flicking downward, his memory absorbing the image of the troll in front of him. "Just chillin'," Dave replies, leaning against the headrest with his arms behind his head. Shit, Karkles, how long have you had to work to get that hot bod?"  
     Hot? Karkat growls, certain the human is mocking him. "Now listen here, Strider!" he snaps, storming toward the human angrily. "You shouldn't walk into other's respiteblocks. You don't do that. You don't sit on some fucker's bed, acting like you own the place. You don't act smug and all that crap. And you certainly don't mock me!" It wasn't going how he'd thought the scenario might. "I'll fucking have you know that I actually fucking like myself like this, but if you're going to try and give me shit for my own personal fucking looks, then maybe you should go-"  
    "Calm the fuck down, dude." Karkat yelps in surprise when the human stands up and wraps an arm around his waist, pulling the troll closer. "Shit, I'm not mocking you. I think you look really fucking hot like this." Karkat steps back quickly. His bloodpusher pounding, the troll backs into a wall, pressing himself against it as the human once again approaches. "And as much as I'd rather be in my own room, Lalonde shoved me in here. Probably for this very reason. Shit Karks, you know what? I think her and Maryam want us together. Wanna know why I think that?" Karkat nods slightly. Though partially uncomfortable (after all, he was pushed against the wall of this respiteblock, completely naked, while his flush crush was pressed against him), the young troll was still curious as to what Dave was thinking. Which was a first. "I think they figured the two of us out long before we figured ourselves out."  
"Look, jackass," Karkat says, cutting Dave off, "I don't know what fucking game you're playing, but I don't want to be stuck in the middle of it. If you haven't fucking noticed, we're heading toward our inevitable deaths as we fucking speak, in the middle of a fucking game we never wanted to be a part of, so I'm not in the fucking mood for-" Soft lips connect with his rough ones.

Bliss.  
That was all Dave Strider could say to explain the feeling of kissing the short troll. Complete and utter bliss. And goddamn if he didn't want more. He pulls away, though, when he realises Karkat isn't responding. The human looks up at the troll's face, expecting to see pure malice, but is instead met with an expression of shock, confusion, and- was that excitement? "Why the fuck did you stop, asshole?" Karkat growls suddenly, slinging an arm over Dave's shoulders casually.  
"You didn't respond."  
"Well, maybe I would have if you didn't pull back so fucking quick-" This time, when Dave presses his lips to the troll's, he's met with a light force. Dave smiles slightly- a true smile, not a faked one- and pulls the troll closer. He's surprised when Karkat's tongue presses Dave's lips open, but he snaps out of it quickly,pulling back slightly. "What the fuck, Stri- ooh." Dave kisses the troll's neck lightly. He twitches slightly when Karkat presses a leg into his crotch, sending a spark of pleasure through his body. Karkat's breath hitches slightly when the human's dull teeth nip at the grey flesh on his neck. It hurt for only a split second before Karkat's legs nearly buckle underneath him. "Strider, I-" Against his better judgement, Karkat gently pushes Dave away. "Stop."  
Dave's expression momentarily morphs into one of hurt. "Yeah, sorry, no, I should probably just-" He turns to leave, but Karkat's hand on his wrist stops him. Dave doesn't make eye contact, instead opting to eye the door, which was firmly closed. "Sorry, I just assumed..."  
"I just said stop," Karkat said quietly, which surprised Dave. The short troll never did anything quietly; he should know, since their rooms were right beside each other's. "I didn't say you had to leave. It's just..." He's silent for a second. "I can't take this seriously while you have those ridiculous shades on."  
Dave looks over at Karkat, eyebrow raised in surprise. "Hey, don't diss the shades, man," he replies in a semi-serious tone. "My best bro Egbert gave me these for my birthday. It's uncool to diss the shades given by a best bro. It is a sacred ritual, the process of giving and receiving gifts from a best bro, and-"  
"Jegus fuck, Strider, just let me fucking take those off you so we can fuck already." That silences Dave, and Karkat takes the chance to swipe the shades from Dave's face. "Holy shit."  
Karkat stares into the bright red eyes of Dave, who snaps out of his moment of surprise and covers his face with a hand. "Give them back, Karkat." He holds out his free hand, and Karkat can see it trembling. "Just- just don't. Stop looking at my fucking mutant eyes." That word. 'Mutant'.  
"If you stopped worrying about yourself for one goddamn second," Karkat sighs, wrapping his arms around Dave's torso, "you'd realise you're not the only freak here."  
Dave is silent for a second before, "What do you mean?" Karkat sighs and quietly takes Dave's hand, guiding it away from the human's face and onto Karkat's neck, which had a dark red bruise forming.  
"Red blood," he whispers. "Trolls... you know how we all have different blood colours, right?" Dave nods, gazing into Karkat's eyes. With his shades off, he could see every detail of Karkat's face perfectly. "Trolls aren't supposed to have bright red blood. But I do. I'm a mutant, too, Dave. You don't have to hide your eyes from me, not in this respiteblock. Okay? We're both freaks. We're both oddities. We're both mutants."  
"Okay," Dave replies in a hushed tone. The two are silent for an uncomfortable amount of time before Dave suddenly says, "You know, I think your little nighttime sessions are pretty hot."  
Karkat rips himself away from Dave. "What the fuck, Strider?!" he snaps. His hands subconsciously falls to his stomach, where they cross in a futile attempt at hiding the soft flesh. He glances away, face burning red. "You've been... watching me at night?"  
"It was an accident at first," Dave says, raising his hands in surrender. "I swear on my honour. I was just really fucking concerned a few weeks ago. You were making these weird fucking noises and I thought you were dying or some other lame shit like that, so I thought, 'I'm gonna go check on my best troll bro and make sure he's cool'. Next thing I knew, I was watching a kinda soft-lookin' Karkles downing an entire fuckin' carton of some weird shit. What the fuck was that anyway? Wait, I don't wanna know." He glances at Karkat again before looking away. "I ended up being really fucking confused as to why the hell I thought my best troll bro drinking something was hot, but then I fucking saw you eat like- what was it again?- five fucking sandwiches with practically every fucking Earth food on it." He blushes deeply. He was revealing something he'd only told Rose about, but he was on a roll and he wasn't going to stop now. Not that he could. "And last night, want to know why I had my music on so loud? It was so you wouldn't hear me opening your door. Yeah, it's really fucking creepy what I was doing, but I knew you'd just fucking kill me, and I just wanted to, y'know, what you binge eat half the fucking kitchen. I don't fucking know why I want to, or why I find you significantly more attractive now than I had a few months ago, but damn. I do. Guess I'm just that fucking weird."  
"Jegus fucking Christ, Strider." How in the universe had Karkat fallen for this idiot? And how long had the human been sitting on these feelings? How long had he himself been denying the obvious? "So... you like watching me stuff my fucking face, I like stuffing my fucking face, maybe this can work in our favour?"  
"The only thing I want you shoving into your mouth is my tongue right now, like fucking hell." Karkat's jaw drops in shock. Dave himself, turning redder by the second, pushes Karkat onto the bed behind them, placing a knee between the troll's thighs. "Maybe at this exact moment, before I lose my nerve and sprint out of here faster than a fucking Earth racecar."  
"I don't understand what the fuck you just said, Strider." But he pulls the human down and kisses him nonetheless. And he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy every second of it. He liked it even more when he felt calloused hands gently grasping at his belly, fingers dancing across the flesh carefully. "Dave..." Karkat mumbles against Dave's lips, tugging gently at the human's shirt hem.  
Dave breaks the kiss just long enough for him to lift the shirt off, locking their lips together again as he squirms out of his jeans.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No. Hell no. Hell fucking no. Dave and Karkat deal with Rose and Kanaya, and Dave discovers something horrifying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *spends about an hour and a half writing down notes for bio class* *gives up when hand cramps up* ALRIGHT, THAT IS ENOUGH BIOLOGY TODAY. TIME TO DO SOMETHING INTERESTING. I wrote this in school. .-. Oh yeah, I am too lazy to go and change the other chapters, so I am just going to time jump a few years. Oh, and I have decided the point of this is to either make people very interested (wink wink) or very uncomfortable.

As the years go by, the relationship between Karkat and Dave grows quickly. The troll did too, grow, but at a much slower pace Neither the human nor the troll wanted to risk the health of the latter. Alongside that, neither wanted the others to know what they were doing, and so they slowed their sessions considerably so as not to raise suspicion. But they both should have realized the secrecy would not last.  
     One morning, after a long and eventful night that left Karkat almost painfully stuffed, Dave is awoken by the sound of his and Karkat's bedroom door opening slowly. The teen human grumbles, opening one eye slightly to see what was going on, and is immediately horrified when he sees a familiar female troll step inside and look straight at him. Dave pulls the covers over his and Karkat's entwined bodies, not once breaking eye contact with Kanaya Maryam. Silently, he places a finger to his lips. Kanaya doesn't seem to take the hint. "If I may speak with you two, Dave," she says in a voice hardly lower than a normal tone. Dave sighs inaudibly, not wanting to leave the warmth of the bed and the soft side of his boyfriend. "Now would be great." She leaves the room, closing the door as she does.  
     The human sighs again, gently shaking Karkat's shoulder. "Hey, dude, wake up." Karkat grunts, shifting slightly, but doesn't wake up. "Come on, Karkles. Maryam wants to talk with us." Again, Karkat fails to wake up. After a few seconds of silence, Dave gets an idea, and puts the plan in motion. He dives under the blankets, wiggling his way down to the usually-soft-and-cushiony flesh around the troll's midsection, and settles himself just over his legs. He chuckles and plops down on top of his boyfriend, facedown in his belly.  
     Karkat yelps at the sudden added pressure and sits up quickly. Or at least, he tries to, but Dave pins him down. "What the fuck, Dave?!" Karkat shouts, kicking at the human reflexively. Dave chuckles, nuzzling his face into the troll's stomach once again. "Get off!"  
     "Nah." The human's voice comes back muffled. "I think I like it down here. It's comfy." Karkat squirms, but slowly relaxes when Dave's skillful fingers start massaging his aching sides.  
     Unfortunately, the moment is short-lived, as Kanaya walks into the room again, this time with her matesprite in tow. Dave, being none the wiser, continues massaging Karkat's stomach, nuzzling it gently. "D-Da-aaah..." Karkat whimpers, face burning red, as he feels soft lips press onto the place his belly button would be were he human. "Dave..." His voice comes out as a low moan, and his face burns brighter as he clears his throat and says, "We have company."  
     Dave yelps and crawls out from under the blankets, blushing profusely, and eyes Karkat's hands, which are balling up the sheets. Rose sees her ectobrother, raises an eyebrow whilst smirking, and chuckles. "The both of you are still getting along marvelously, I see?" Dave hides his face in embarrassment.  
     "Karkat, it has come to our attention that you are not properly taking care of yourself. It appears to be worse than in the game, and I fear Dave has not been a very good influence on you." She moves to sit on the edge of the bed, but Dave moves in front of her, his eyes narrowed. "David, I simply need to check on Karkat's physical health."  
     "He's perfectly fine," Dave growls out. "Fuck off."  
     Rose moves beside Kanaya, taking the female troll's hand in her own pale one. "Check yourself, Dave." She was used to her ectobrother being passive-aggressive and protective when it came to Karkat, but the way he was acting was completely uncalled for. "You don't have to act like that with Kanay- have you been following Karkat's example?"  
     Dave gives Rose a confused glance, but then settles his gaze back on Kanaya. The female troll turns to Rose. "That is actually why I requested you join me on this visit," she says calmly, unaffected by Dave's sudden aggression. "David, a few of our mutual friends have expressed concern for your own wellbeing. Rose, may you speak with your brother about what we have previously discussed? I must speak with Karkat for a few moments."  
     Dave glances at Karkat, reluctant to leave him alone (he'd been like that for the past two months), but the short troll smiles at him. "Don't worry, Dave," he says, slipping out of the bed and stepping over to him. "It's just Kanaya." He wraps his arms around the human, nuzzling his face into his chest. Dave hugs the small troll in return, nuzzling his own face into the black hair he loved to play with so much. When his cheek brushes against Karkat's right horn, a purr erupts from the troll's chest.  
     They break apart too soon for either of their liking. Though they didn't always get along perfectly, they were both incredibly cuddly and loved physical contact. It was only when they stepped away from each other that Karkat noticed that Dave did, indeed, look a little bigger than he had been two months before. It wouldn't have been noticeable if he had a shirt on, but his torso was bare, leaving him exposed. Dave kisses Karkat's forehead before leaving the room behind Rose.  
     "You seem much happier," Kanaya comments, shocking Karkat out of his stupor, "but I truly am concerned for your health. You are twice as big as you were when we began the game, Karkat."  
     Karkat shrugs slightly. "That's good, isn't it?" Kanaya gives him a confused glance. "I wasn't eating much during that time. It was unhealthy. I'm healthier now, Dave and I both agree."  
     "But Dave doesn't-"  
     "He doesn't what?" Karkat interrupts. "He doesn't understand troll biology? Jegus fuck, Kanaya, do you think I'd let him anywhere near me and my reproductive organs if I didn't explained my own fucking species to him? He knows trolls aren't usually big. He knows we're supposed to be strong, thing, and fast. But you and I both know that was because our species couldn't survive otherwise. It's different here. We don't have to be in top shape in case the drones show up, because guess what? There are no drones on this planet! It's been two years since the game ended, Kanaya. I'm only now happy. Plus, we're gods. We can't die anymore." Karkat glares at the opposite wall, his hands unconsciously drifting to his soft belly. "Humans aren't biologically supposed to look like this, either, but take one look at Egbert and tell me he gives two shits about what he's supposed to look like. He doesn't even give one. If he can be happy and healthy while looking like that, then why can't I?"  
     "GET THAT FUCKING THING AWAY FROM ME!" Karkat starts at Dave's loud voice, standing to go to him, but Kanaya crosses the room, closing and locking the door.  
     Karkat growls at her. "Let me out, Kanaya," he hisses through clenched teeth. "I need to get to Dave!" He tries to get around her, but she wouldn't move. "Why won't you let me out?"  
     "It is not currently our concern," Kanaya says simply.  
     Just then, more shouts erupt from what Karkat assumes to be their kitchen. "DAVID STRIDER, YOU WILL TAKE THIS TEST!" Test?  
     "I'M A FUCKING DUDE!"  
     "YOU'RE DATING ANOTHER SPECIES!"  
     Karkat and Kanaya glance at each other. Kanaya has a knowing look in her eye.  
     What. The. Fuck.

Dave Strider crouches on top of the fridge in the kitchen, hissing and glaring at his ectosister. Why he was hissing, he didn't know. It just felt right. "Dave, please get off the fridge."  
     "No." Rose sighs.  
     "Yes."  
     "No."  
     "Yes."  
     "Fuck off."  
     "No."  
     "Then I'm not getting off the fridge."  
     "I'll give you a bunch of apple juice." Dave slides off the fridge, and Rose sighs in relief. "Finally. Now, just take the damn test into the bathroom and use it, alright?" Dave grumbles in protest, but takes the small cardboard box anyway. "Yes, I am aware you are biologically male, as you have pointed out multiple times, but we don't really know the consequences of troll-human, interspecies relationships yet. It appears humans and trolls have the same amount of chromosomes, so it is very likely we can reproduce together. Plus, since we were made through ectobiology, which we still do not fully understand, we ourselves don't know our exact reproductive organs. For all we know, you and John could-"  
     "Okay, I get it!" Dave snaps before storming off to the nearest bathroom. He could hear Karkat in their room, talking to Kanaya. It was weird, the fact that these of all things would be alchemizeable. He looks at the small plastic test in his hand for a second before using it with the help of the box's instructions.  
     While waiting, the human male scrolls through his phone, eventually finding a user he knew he'd want to talk to.

turntechGodhead (TG) began pestering ectoBiologist (EB) at 07:15  
TG: hey dude  
TG: whats up man  
TG: nobody sees you anymore  
TG: i miss my best bro man  
TG: dude  
TG: egbert  
TG: john  
TG: joooooooooooooooooohn  
EB: daaaaaaaave!  
TG: dude did you just use eight as in my name  
TG: like a fucking serket  
EB: sorry, forcive habit.  
EB: and nobody's heard from you in ages, either.  
TG: ive been busy  
TG: appreciating the hot karkles ass that i got so wonderfully served  
TG: because like damn  
TG: so fucking hot  
TG: and squishable  
TG: kinda like yours  
EB: what?  
TG: what  
TG: i didnt say anything  
TG: definitely not  
EB: dave.  
EB: have you looked at my ass?  
TG: pfffffsh  
TG: nah bro  
TG: thats breaking the bro code  
TG: ass appreciation is for  
TG: you know  
TG: sexy time relationships  
TG: not broships that span universes  
EB: okay...?  
TG: do you want me to look at your ass  
TG: cuz i can  
TG: but like  
TG: karks would probably kill me  
EB: no!  
EB: anyway, what are you doing?  
TG: waiting  
EB: for what?  
TG: rose got it into her mind that interspecies homosexual relationships run the same risks as heterosexual relationships  
EB: what?  
TG: gotta go  
TG: things done  
EB: dave?  
turntechGodhead (TG) ceased pestering ectoBiologist (EB) at 07:27

Shit. Fuck. Shit fuck god damn it. How the fuck.  
     Dave steps into his room, expression blank as he passes Karkat and Kanaya and flops onto the bed, face-first. "Dave?" Karkat sits down beside his matesprite. "Dave, what happened?" He places a hand on the human's back, rubbing it gently. Dave opens his right hand, revealing the plastic stick in his palm, displaying two pink lines. He hears Kanaya gasp lightly, but barely registers it. His mind is numb from shock. "Dave?"  
     "David, what did the results- oh..." Rose steps across the room in five quick strides, takes the stick, and reads it quickly before looking at Karkat with a serious expression. "Congratulations, you two are going to be fathers."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat tries to get Dave out of their bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahahahaha. I want death. Five pages. Completely filled with words. In all, this chapter took me probably a good three to four days to write. I am currently in the middle of writing chapter six. Oh, also, there was originally a (REALLY BADLY WRITTEN) smut scene, but as I am a sixteen-year-old virgin lesbian, I decided to skip out on the idea.

"You need to get him out of the house, Karkat." The chubby troll looks up at Rose, who is sitting across from him. "It's been three days. This isn't healthy, you know, letting him seclude himself this way."  
     Karkat sighs, running a hand through his hair- a habit he'd picked up from his matesprite. "I can try," he replies, "but I can't guarantee anything. He's stubborn, as you know." Rose nods, agreeing with the short troll. "It may help if we just stay in the backyard or something. And if we're alone."  
     "Alright." Rose hesitantly stands. "I'll see you, and hopefully Dave, tomorrow."

Dave stares at himself in the mirror, his shirt pulled up to expose his stomach. He was almost unhealthily thin, so the slight rise of his belly was uncomfortably obvious. In the three days since the dreadful reveal, he'd avoided speaking to anyone, even Karkat. Especially Karkat. He was afraid; afraid that his boyfriend / matesprite of four years would shun him because of this biological anomaly.  
     He hears the bathroom door open too late. Seconds later, warm, soft arms wrap around his middle, gentle grey fingers brushing against the offending bump at his midsection. "Strider," Karkat mumbles, nuzzling his face into the human's back, "never disappear like this again. Everyone's worried. _I'm_ worried." There's hurt in the troll's trembling voice.  
     Dave turns his body so he's facing the short troll, wraps his arms around his soft frame, and nuzzles his face into his neck. His arms are shaking as his legs give out, and the two sink to the ground, Karkat rubbing Dave's back gently. "I'm so sorry..."  
     "You didn't do anything wrong," Karkat replies. "Neither of us knew this was possible, alright? We'll get through this together. You and me. Like old times."  
     That forces a chuckle out of Dave. He looks at Karkat, tears in his eyes. "Not like old times," he says with a small smile. "I don't think I could handle asshole behaviour from either of us right now." For those years on the meteor, when their relationship was just beginning, they'd bicker over everything; movies, books, things to do. Karkat snorts, kissing Dave's forehead. The human suddenly pouts as he realizes something. "Does this mean we can't do the do for however long anymore?" Karkat snorts again and shakes his head.  
     "Depends on our moods," he purrs. Dave looks at Karkat, leans forward, and kisses him. The troll kisses back happily, glad to have his matesprite back.   
     A few seconds later, they break apart, and Karkat looks at Dave's middle curiously before placing his hand on it carefully. There was no softness to it, unlike the troll's own belly, and it reminded him of that first midnight feeding session. He'd been in too much pain to move around much the next day, but it had shown him his limit, and he worked to exceed it each time. He didn't really understand why he'd started doing it; he just discovered he liked it, which led him to being with Dave. "It kinda looks like there's an alien inside me," Dave says quietly, looking at Karkat.  
     His boyfriend's expression both surprised him and made him love the troll more. His mouth was opened ever so slightly, his eyes were wide, his features soft. Though, the soft features were made softer by the chub on his cheeks and chin. "So gorgeous..." Karkat whispers, placing his other hand on the underside of the human's belly.  
     Dave lets out a soft gasp before clamping his mouth shut, blushing deeply. He silently hopes Karkat hadn't heard him, but the troll's ears were much more keen than the human's. He does it again. "Jegus fuck," Dave whispers, pressing himself into Karkat's hand. Karkat glances up at Dave, smirks, and leans down to plant a kiss on his belly. Dave liked this feeling almost as much as he liked playing with Karkat's stomach, and he suddenly understood how his boyfriend felt whenever he did. "Karkat."  
     "Hmm?" The troll glances up at his matesprite with a small smile. "What is it?"  
     The human whimpers at the loss of touch. "Don't stop," he whines, then immediately blushes. He's a Strider; he doesn't whine. But apparently the universe decided otherwise that day. "Jegus fuck, don't sto-" His hands dig into the troll's hair, his fingertips brushing against the nubby horns, when he feels his boyfriend's tongue dip into his belly button.  He felt as though he'd just gotten zapped, but it was the best feeling he'd ever felt. He lets out a low moan when he feels Karkat's sharp teeth nibble at the surrounding skin, his hips bucking up involuntarily, desperate for some form of friction. His jeans were uncomfortably tight, painfully tight, and he needed them off. "Karkat, Karkat please..." Karkat looks up. "Please..."  
     "Please what?" the troll purrs, obviously knowing exactly what he was doing to the human. "Please do this?" He gently rubs the underside of Dave's belly. "This?" He stops rubbing and instead digs his tongue into his belly button, swirling it around. Dave lets out a moan. "Or this?" He goes back to burying his tongue into the belly button, rubbing the underside of his belly with one hand and pressing the palm of the other into the human's crotch.  
     Dave lets out a loud, excited gasp. "Yess!" he groans. He rubs his hands over Karkat's horns, and the troll moans in response. Then, as if somehow connected...  
     Their stomachs growl. Dave's face burns red, and Karkat scrambles up so abruptly his arms nearly give out from the sudden weight. The two of them stare at each other for a second before Karkat slowly gets to his feet and reaches down to help Dave up. The human purposely stumbles forward and presses himself against Karkat. The troll's breath hitches at the sudden contact. Dave smirks as his boyfriend's face turns red, and he wraps his arms around the troll's waist. "Shit, you're hot." He chuckles. "Especially when you moan."  
     "Says the one who was practically begging me for more," Karkat purrs in retaliation. His stomach growls again. "Well fuck. I think we're being told something." The troll looks down with a scrunched nose and a small frown, his expression of annoyance. "Look at this. I'm practically withering away!" He grabs a handful of the soft flesh and jiggles it slightly. Dave forces back a squeak, his eyes glued to his boyfriend.  
     "Jegus fuck, that's hot." The words fall from Dave's mouth before he can stop them. His face burns brighter than it already had. He was still pressed against Karkat, and could feel exactly how soft the flesh of his boyfriend's belly was. And Dave was still talking. "I'd fuck you right here, right now, but I would hate for you to starve. Do you even know how difficult it is to not fuck you every second of the day? Or to feed you until that beautiful, soft belly of yours is rock hard and you can't even move?" The words wouldn't stop. "All day, every day, I have fantasies of you, and they're not innocent."  
     Karkat places his hands on his stomach, blushing and oddly aroused by a few of his matesprite's comments. He takes a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for his next words. "Feed me," he mumbles quietly, "until I can't move."  
     Dave blinks in surprise. "What was that?" He smirks slightly. "Didn't quite hear you." He leans forward.  
     The troll bites his lip to hold back a sound that rises in his throat as Dave attacks his neck in kisses and bites. His stomach growls again, and this time, Dave's joins in.  
     "I-I want you to... f-f-feed me tonight... until I can't move..." Karkat whispers. "Please..."

Karkat can hear the pizza delivery man when Dave goes to retrieve their order. "Big party tonight?" the man asks, and his voice was oddly familiar. Then... "Dave?"  
     The troll quickly heaves himself off the couch and hurriedly makes his way to the front door. Yes, he did know that voice! In the doorframe, John Egbert stands, holding the pizza boxes in one hand, and the double-bagged sodapop in the other. When the two make eye contact, they freeze, studying each other. The human, Karkat notices immediately, wasn't fat anymore. Instead, he seemed to be made entirely of muscle. The troll suddenly becomes self-conscious of his appearance, shuffling from foot to foot nervously. Dave glances back at him and smiles. "That's really fucking adorable," he says before turning back to John. "How much do I owe you, Egbert?" He pulls out his wallet.  
     "Uhh..." he shakes his head as if to clear his mind. "O-one-oh-five fifteen." The two humans exchange money and food, and John smiles at Karkat before leaving. "I like your new look."  
     Dave closes the door, and him and Karkat retreat to the living room. "I'm not going to be able to eat all that," Karkat mumbles, eyeing the boxes of pizza. There were seven.  
     "Nonsense," Dave chirps. "I've seen you eat more than this before." He crawls on top of the troll, settling himself on his crotch and rocking his hips to get comfortable. Karkat lets out a nervous chitter, a soft sound that comes from deep in the troll's throat. "If you tell me to stop, though, I'll stop. No questions asked. Alright?"  
     Slowly, Karkat nods. "Alright," he replies, his voice squeaking. He realizes he's trembling. They'd never done this before; usually, Dave would be watching in fascination, or playing with Karkat's belly as it grew tighter and harder. "Alright," he repeats, louder and without a squeak, as he gets comfortable as well. "Let's do this."

One box in, and Karkat is shifting uncomfortably, rubbing his still-soft stomach with one hand as he brings the bottle of some strange orangey sodapop to his lips. "You're doing great," his matesprite says gently, leaning forward and kissing him quickly. He leans back, the taste of the artificial orange on his lips, and he licks any droplets off swiftly. It wasn't as good as apple juice, but nearly. "Want to keep going?"  
     "Y-yeah," Karkat replies. He then hears a grumble from Dave's stomach, and he laughs as the human's face and ears turn red. "W-no." With a little extra effort than usual, Karkat flips him so the troll is straddling the human's waist. "You're not getting away with not eating while you feed me," he growls, leaning down to the human.  
     Dave would be lying if he said he didn't like this turn of events. "Damn, Karks," he chuckles. The troll was heavy. "What are you feeding that gut of yours?"  
     The troll's lips twitch into a smile. "This," he says, grabbing his belly with both hands and jiggling it, "is all your fault, Strider." His tone changes to an innocent one. "What, do you want me to be fat and lazy?" He grinds his hips down against his matesprite. Dave whimpers. "Well," Karkat purrs, leaning closer to Dave and patting his protruding belly, "I'll just have to repay the favour." He grabs a slice of pizza from the pepperoni box, placing it to Dave's lips. "Eat."  
     "This- this is supposed to be your-"  
     "I'm not eating another bite until that belly of your is nice and round, Strider." The human's eyes widen slightly in shock. He'd never seen Karkat acting like this before. He was usually the one being pinned, fed, then fucked senseless. Not today, apparently. Today, Karkat was in control.  
     Dave opens his mouth, submitting to his fate.

"That's enough for you." Karkat gets off Dave, smiling slightly as he look at his matesprite. Dave lets out a long sigh of relief, then clutches at his belly in pain. It had been easier to take control than he thought.  
     Dave groans lightly, rubbing circles into the overly stretched skin (he was certain he'd find stretch marks in the morning or in a couple days). "Give me a minute," he says, placing his head back and breathing heavily. Seconds later, two more hands join his, and he cracks open an eye. Karkat rubs gentle circles into his matesprite's stone-hard, stretched stomach.  
     They do that for a few minutes before Dave manages to heave himself up. He reclaims his rightful place on Karkat's lap, but this time, their stomachs press together almost uncomfortably. Dave places a hand on his own. "I'm gonna look exactly like this in a few months," he reminds Karkat. "Then I won't have a chance at hiding it." He grabs a slice of pizza from the half-eaten box of pepperoni and presses it toward Karkat's mouth. Immediately, the troll opens his mouth and takes a bite out of it. While he chews obediently, the human continues talking. "You're getting pain in return for mine. And you were right; I do want you fat and lazy, but not so much so that you can help me out with the things we'll be dealing with soon. But right now, I'm going to feed you until every single one of these boxes are empty, and both of these bottles have nothing else in them. Then, I'm gonna fuck you senseless." With those last three words, Dave grinds himself downward, drawing a loud, closed-mouthed moan from Karkat.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and Karkat deal with the repercussions of the previous night. Meanwhile, Rose and Kanaya discover a terrifying fact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERE IS GONNA BE MORE PLOOOOOOOOT. Also, I freaking love writing pesterlogs with Karkat in them. I can display my inner rage. :) Also, "heterochromatic sight orbs" is officially the best thing I have ever written. Also, can someone PLEASE comment and tell me how the hell you put pictures into a chapter?????

The next morning, as they're eating breakfast and looking through their messages, their faces burn brightly. Apparently, Rose and Kanaya had come by later that night, when the boys were asleep, and seen the two (lucky for them, they'd managed to clean up and get their clothes on after their... activities.) Not only did they decide to take a picture of the two, but they'd also sent said picture to each of their friends.  
     Dave responds to only one person; his best bro's ectosister, Jade.

gardenGnostic (GG) began pestering turntechGodhead (TG) at 09:37

GG: omg!  
GG: you two are the absolute cutest!!  
TG: oh god  
TG: not you too  
GG: yup!  
GG: you better let me poke that tummy of yours, dave!!! :)  
GG: you and karkat are soooo cute together!  
TG: why are you using so many exclamations  
TG: like damn  
TG: who are you  
TG: peixes or something  
GG: no!  
GG: but shes sitting beside me right now!!!  
GG: reading this  
TG: oh fuck  
TG: sup peixes  
TG: ignore the pic okay  
TG: please  
GG: shes seen them too, dad  
GG: OMG I MEANT DAVE!!  
TG: bruh  
GG: but anyway!  
GG: no use hiding it now!!  
GG: youre in the chubclub, dave strider!  
TG: fuck off  
TG: shit was a one time thing  
TG: besides  
TG: karkles can be pretty damn dominant when he wants to be  
GG: dont lie, dave  
GG: karkat doesnt have it in him to dominate a butterfly, much less his matesprite!  
TG: do you see my face right now harley  
TG: no you fucking dont  
TG: i am legit in so much fucking pain right now  
TG: i kinda feel like bec noir stabbed me  
TG: like shittttttt  
TG: i ate half a fucking pizza  
TG: and karks thinks that  
TG: just because i forgot to eat for like three days  
TG: im suddenly withering away  
TG: like jegus fuck vantas  
TG: half a pizzas gonna ruin my hot ass figure  
TG: i mean like  
TG: its gonna ruin my figure faster than the fucking mutant in me  
TG: oh shit  
TG: i didnt send that  
TG: FUCK  
GG: dave...  
GG: what are you talking about?  
TG: nothing  
TG: im fucking rambling  
TG: being so fucking weird up in this bitch  
TG: like  
TG: im the mayor of weird fucked up ectobiology  
TG: a biological anomaly  
TG: more of one than we already were i mean  
TG: and i dunno if egbert also may deal with this shit  
TG: but like god damn  
TG: again  
TG: so fucking weird  
TG: ironically of course  
GG: dave.  
GG: are you...  
GG: are you biologically female?  
GG: are you transgender?  
TG: what  
TG: no!  
TG: its just a shitty ectomess im in  
TG: cuz apparently the universe decided im a fucking dude with a fucking womb  
GG: o.o  
GG: holy shit!  
GG: are you telling me youre pregnant???  
TG: fuck  
TG: no  
TG: im not saying anything of the sort  
TG: did i log on and say  
TG: sup harley and apparently peixes  
TG: rose forced me to take one of those fucking pregnancy tests that we alchemized for you ladies  
TG: not that youd need them really  
TG: and like  
TG: apparently trolls and humans can reproduce  
TG: and im the test subject on the mutant hybrid  
GG: i have to tell everyone!!!  
TG: HARLEY NO!!!!!!!!!!

gardenGnostic (GG) ceased pestering turntechGodhead (TG) at 10:18

     "Shit," Dave hisses, running his hands through his hair and pulling at it. Things were about to go down, and not in a good way. "Fuck."

While Dave speaks with Jade, Karkat replies to Sollux.

twinArmageddons (TA) began trolling carcinoGeneticist (CG) at 09:41

TA: wtf kk  
TA: what the fuck  
TA: did ro2e really ju2t 2end what ii thiink 2he diid  
CG: FUCK.  
CG: OFF.  
CG: IT'S NOT ONLY TOO GOGDAMN EARLY TO BE DEALING WITH THIS BULLSHIT.  
CG: BUT NOBODY GAVE THAT BULGE-MUNCHING, NOOKSNIFFING, HUMAN-LESBIAN ROSE PERMISSION TO SEND WHATEVER DISGUSTING IMAGERY YOU HAVE JUST LAID YOUR HETEROCHROMATIC SIGHT OBS ON.  
TA: holy 2hiit kk  
TA: chiill out  
CG: NO.  
CG: I'M NOT FUCKING DONE, ASSHOLE.  
CG: I'M JUST GETTING FUCKING WARMED UP.  
CG: DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY FUCKING FUCKERS HAVE FUCKED WITH MY FUCKING GLORIOUS FUCKING MORNING WITH MY HOT-AS-ALL-FUCK MATESPRITE THIS FUCKING RISING OF THE EARTHANIAN SUN?  
CG: ALL OF THEM.  
CG: ALL OF THE FUCKING FUCKERS, SOLLUX.  
CG: EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM.  
CG: SO FUCK YOU AND ALL OF THOSE FUCKING FUCKERS, FUCKASS.  
TA: who pii22ed iin your cereal today kk  
CG: FUCKING ROSE.  
CG: AND KANAYA.  
CG: THEY HAD NO FUCKING RIGHT.  
CG: AND.  
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT, SOLLUX?  
CG: SEND ME THE FUCKING OFFENDING PICTURE.  
TA: are you 2ure kk  
TA: what are you goiing two do wiith iit  
CG: LOOK AT IT.  
CG: AND MAYBE BURN IT.  
TA: karkat-and-dave.jpg  
CG: O/////O  
CG: JEGUS FUCK.  
TA: what  
TA: kk  
TA: are you 2tiill there  
TA: kk

carcinoGeneticist (CG) ceased trolling twinArmageddons (TA) at 10:21

TA: gog damn iit kk

twinArmageddons (TA) ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist (CG) at 10:22

     Dave and Karkat both look at each other with equally horrified expressions. "Sollux sent me the picture," Karkat says, blushing profusely.  
     Dave replies with, "I accidentally told Harley about this-" He points to his belly, which still seemed uncomfortably swelled from the night before- "And she's threatened to tell everyone. The messages are- oh fuck, here we go."  
     The human glances at his phone and nervously answers Terezi.

gallowsCalibrator (GC) began trolling turntechGodhead (TG) at 10:27

GC: D4V3  
GC: WH4T 1S TH1S 1 H34R FROM J4D3??  
GC: terezi  
TG: since when have you been talking to harley  
GC: S1NC3 4LW4YS, D4V3  
GC: SH3 ROL3PL4YS W1TH M3 4ND N3P3T4  
GC: D1DN'T YOU KNOW TH1S?? >:?  
TG: awe shit  
TG: i gotta see one of those roleplays someday  
TG: how fucking hot would that be  
TG: like gog damn  
GC: BUT 4NYW4YS...  
GC: 1 R3M3MB3R YOU M3NT1ON1NG TH1S "PR3GN4NCY" TH1NG ON TH3 M3T3OR  
GC: J4D3 JUST BROUGHT 1T UP TO M3 4ND N3P3T4  
TG: come on rezi  
TG: just drop it already  
GC: NOP3!  
GC: W3'R3 GONN4 T4LK 4BOUT TH1S, D4V3  
GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3  
GC: B3C4US3 1 THOUGHT ONLY YOUR SP3C13S F3M4L3S COULD C4RRY OFFSPR1NG???  
TG: yeah  
TG: thats generally the rule  
TG: but we were ectochildren remember  
TG: so i guess shits different down there  
TG: gog fucking damn it  
TG: cant trust egbert with anything can we  
GC: WOW  
GC: YOUR SP3C13S 1S W31RD  
TG: i know right  
TG: so fucking weird  
GC: BUT 1S 1T TRU3?  
TG: is what true  
GC: 4R3 YOU R34LLY HUM4N PR3GN4NT??  
TG: no  
TG: im alien pregnant  
GC: >:O

turntechGodhead (TG) ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator (GC) at 10:49

Dave groans loudly. Karkat glances at him from his place at the stove, then looks back at the pans, and begins shovelling the finished food onto a large plate. He felt bad about taking advantage of Dave's state, but his matesprite would always stress eat.  
     The troll brings two plates to the table, one for each of them, and sets down his matesprite's food in front of Dave. He then sits down himself and looks up at Dave, grabbing his fork and stabbing a few hashbrowns. The human is scrolling through his phone again, unconsciously bringing pieces of his meal to his mouth and chewing thoughtfully.  
     Karkat watches him in stunned silence as his matesprite clears his plate in record time, then seemingly snaps out of his stupor. Dave looks down at his empty plate, then Karkat's half-full one, and blushes. "When did-"  
     "Like, three minutes ago." He watches Dave's expression more from one of embarrassment to one of confusion. "You eat when you're stressed." Karkat leans over the table, using his elbows as rests to prop himself up. "I think it's cute." His grey skin tints red.  
     Dave blushes more. Then, he says one thing Karkat was dreading him asking. "What, are you trying to make me fat?"  
     The troll blushes deeply and replies with, "Not fat, persay..." He scratches the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Just... y'know... chubby?" He winces, avoiding eye contact. His own secret was out now.  
     "Well shit," Dave chuckles out. "Looks like I'm gonna need new pants soon." Karkat's head snaps up, his eyes wide as he stares at the human. "What?" Dave smirks slightly, standing and stepping around the table. He wraps his arms around Karkat's wide waist from behind, nuzzling his face into the troll's neck. "I'm gonna be gaining weight anyway, because of our spawn. Why not keep it?" Despite his words, Karkat could hear the slight disappointment in his voice.  
     Karkat purrs affectionately, noticing Dave's trembling. "You don't have to if you don't want to. I'll love you no matter what you look like, Dave."  
     "We'll see."

Silent as the light of which was her aspect, the girl slips through the empty doorframe and into the night, tapping out a quick message as she goes from one abandoned house to another. It was the third one that night.

tentacleTherapist (TT) began pestering grimAuxiliatrix (GA) at 11:15

TT: Are you certain about this? The information we have received is correct?

     Rose Lalonde lets out a low sigh as she makes it to the next house she is searching. Nobody in the neighbourhood could know what was happening, or there would be mayhem.

GA: About As Sure As One Could Be In Such A Situation

     She groans, leaning against the outer wall of the house. It was only two years old, but already its wooden frame was rotting from the occasionally harsh elements of their planet.

TT: This isn't good. We'll have to bring the others into attention, then. Do you know how it happened?"

     She'd known it was a murder before she'd even entered the first house. One of the victim's neighbours had brought it to their attention, wisely avoiding the suspicion of the others in HO7. The fact that someone had seen the killer meant he or she wasn't being careful enough to remain anonymous.  
     It was gruesome; bright red blood spattered the walls and ceiling, and in the middle of the room, the victim was slumped over himself in the liquid. It was a human, not a carapace or a troll. One of the many humans that had suddenly appeared three months prior, along with an equal number of trolls from Alternia. Nobody knew how they got there, and all stories previous to the transportation were different. For those three months, the planet Dave and Dirk had stubbornly insisted on being called Earthania had been peaceful.  
     And now there was a murder.

GA: Their Neighbour Reported It Was Another Human  
GA: Who Has Apparently Left A Calling Card Of Sorts In The Backyard  
TT: I'm on it.  
TT: Do you want to know what it says right away?  
TT: There are three messages.  
GA: That Would Be Appreciated  
GA: Send Over A Few Pictures  
TT: Alright.  
TT: pic01.png  
TT: pic02.png  
TT: pic03.png  
GA: Oh My  
GA: Just The Substance It Was Written On Is Disturbing  
GA: Can These Be Translated  
TT: Yes. The language used in these messages is French, a fairly common human tongue.  
TT: As I have studied the language as a requirement for years, I can read this with only slight difficulty, and that is due to its scribbled cursive.  
TT: The first says "Let's play a new game."  
TT: Underneath it, the second message, it says "Find me, you win. I find you, you lose."  
TT: The final message is...  
TT: It appears I cannot read it.  
TT: We'll need more help.  
GA: Shall I Send A Message To Our Friends  
TT: We'll all meet at our place in fifteen minutes.  
GA: Understood

tentacleTherapist (TT) ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix (GA) at 11:48


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone from SBURB / SGRUB gathers to discuss the murder. Dave Strider discovers the 'joyous' part of pregnancy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like shit today. I almost passed out in my bio class for no apparent reason, have felt like I am about to puke for the past seven hours, and I am currently having to deal with the lovely Acheron flowing throughout my lower half. Oh, I also have to get immunized against meningitis tomorrow, because apparently I was never immunized against something that could kill me, and there have been about twenty-nine or more cases in my town. PLUS there is a really bad flu strain going through my school. Like, while I was in the counselor's office, wishing I could sleep, there was another person in the medical room, and another few people had their parents called because they were sick.  
> This has not been a fun week.

grimAuxiliatrix (GA) began trolling carcinoGeneticist (CG) at 11:49

GA: Karkat  
GA: It Appears We Have A Large Problem On Our Hands  
CG: WHAT.  
GA: There Has Recently Been A Murder  
CG: WHAT???  
CG: OH MY GOG.  
CG: HOW THE FUCK?  
CG: WHEN?  
CG: WHAT DISTRICT DID THIS HAPPEN IN?  
GA: H07  
CG: FUUUUUUUCK.  
GA: That Is Quite Near Your Own District, Is It Not  
CG: YEAH.  
CG: DAVE AND I ARE IN TH07.  
CG: SO WE'RE LIKE.  
CG: TEN MINUTES AWAY BY CAR.  
GA: Twenty Minutes  
CG: RIGHT.  
CG: ANYWAY.  
CG: HOW DID IT HAPPEN?  
GA: That Is What We Are Trying To Figure Out  
GA: Rose And I Have Agreed We Must All Meet At Mine And Rose's Place In Fifteen Minutes If Possible  
CG: FUCK, ALRIGHT.  
CG: I'LL TELL DAVE, AND WE'LL HEAD OVER.  
CG: THAT ALRIGHT?  
GA: Perfect  
GA: I Am Contacting The Others  
CG: I'LL HELP.  
CG: I GOT THE HUMANS.  
GA: Alright  
GA: Thank You Karkat  
CG: YEAH, WHATEVER.  
CG: THIS SHITTERY'S SERIOUS.

grimAuxiliatrix (GA) ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist (CG) at 11:58

carcinoGeneticist (CG) began trolling tipsyGnostalgic (TG) at 11:58

CG: I KNOW WE DON'T TALK.  
CG: BUT EVERYONE NEEDS TO MEET AT ROSE AND KANAYA'S IN FIFTEEN MINUTES.  
CG: THERE'S BEEN A MURDER IN H07.

carcinoGeneticist (CG) ceased trolling tipsyGnostalgic (TG) at 11:59

carcinoGeneticist (CG) began trolling ectoBiologist (EB) at 12:00

CG: MEET AT ROSE AND KANAYA'S IN FIFTEEN MINUTES.  
CG: SOME HUMAN WAS MURDERED.  
EB: holy shit!

carcinoGeneticist (CG) ceased pestering ectoBiologist (EB) at 12:00

Karkat Vantas spends the next few minutes typing the same message to each human, minus Dave, who is driving the two of them to his ectosister's house quickly.

The troll doesn't notice the car slow, nor does he realize the engine is turned off, until he hears Dave say, "We're here." Karkat sits up properly, looking up from his phone and blinking at the sudden light as Dave takes his shades off the troll's face. "This isn't good." The human places the shades on his own face and pushes them up.  
"Agreed." The last time everyone had been in one spot was when the other trolls and humans had appeared out of thin air. That had ended with more than a few brawls, Eridan being cut in half (why does it always happen when they meet up?) and everyone agreeing that being in the same room was dangerous.  
And yet, there they were again; all twelve trolls, nearly all eight kids. The only human missing was Dirk Strider, but nobody had seen him in two months. Dave and Karkat step through the threshold of the house. "Hey, guys!" John chirps from the large, circular table set in the middle of the room. He, Rose, and Kanaya were the only ones who weren't giving the two of them shocked expressions. Karkat blushes deeply, wanting to sink into the floor and disappear, or at least be smaller so nobody would be able to see him, but silently follows his matesprite.  
The two sit down; Dave beside Rose, Karkat beside Sollux. The short troll takes Dave's hand in his own under the table, avoiding eye contact with everyone. He feels the human's soft hands squeeze gently, reassuring Karkat that it was fine. Everything was fine. "Alright, now that everyone's here-"  
"Dirk isn't," Dave interrupts.  
Rose shoots him an exasperated look. "He's... busy." And that was that. "Anyway, now we can start this meeting." Rose stands, back straight, and she hands out five sheets of paper to each person sitting around the table. Her expression was grim. "Now, you all probably know that there's been a murder in H07," Rose continues when she returns to her chair, "but you may not know how Kanaya and I know of it. One of the victim's neighbours saw the culprit, a human with blond hair, fleeing the scene. Two of those pictures are what I took of the victim. One before, which is a photocopy of one of their pictures, and one after. And outside, there was writing in the wall. Now, I do not really expect all of you to understand the language, but it is French, which is an Earthan language. These messages were written on the backyard wall in blood." She pulls out a picture, labeled in the left-hand corner as '1'. "This phrase, 'jouons a un nouveau jeu',is translated as-"  
"'Let's play a new game'," Dave interrupts. Everyone, including Rose, looks at the blond-haired human in shock, and he shrugs. "What? I'm a cool kid, but that doesn't mean I'm stupid. I payed attention in at least some of my classes, you know." Everyone stays silent, and Dark awkwardly clears his throat. "Anyway, the second message, 'trouvez-moi, vous gagnez. Je te trouve, tu perds', means 'find me, you win. I find you, you lose.' That's sort of like hide-and-seek, but everyone is 'It'. The third message..." The room is silent as Dave spends the next few minutes reading and re-reading the message in the picture. Finally, "Got it! It's a rhyme, which is why it's so long and written in that format. Here, I'll write it down, since it's kind of difficult to read out loud while simultaneously translating. Rose, you have a sheet of paper and a pen?"  
While Dave writes, the room begins chatting amongst themselves. Karkat has to give up the hand he was holding so his matesprite could write, but he does so reluctantly. He turns to Sollux, who is watching him curiously. "What?" Karkat grumbles, feeling uncomfortable under his friend's gaze.  
Sollux's eyebrows shoot up. "You're hiding a lot under that sweater, huh?" His gaze scans the red-blooded troll in fascination. It takes a few seconds for the yellow-blood's words to sink in, but when they do, Karkat's face burns red.  
He growls at his friend. "Fuck you, you-" He couldn't think of any language strong enough to describe his emotions at that moment, so he continues speaking. "For your information," he doesn't realize his voice is rising quickly, "I'm finally fucking happy, and- oh, in the name of makers forbid- healthy!"  
"You're really fat, though."  
"WELL, MAYBE I FUCKING LIKE MYSELF THIS- way...?" His voice fades to a squeak when he looks up. Silently realizing he's standing, he sinks down into his chair, pulls the collar of his sweater up to cover his face, and fights back the instinct to run.  
"What the hell?" He hear's Vriska Serket's mid-alto voice go up a few pitches. "Karkat, is this about that picture Rose sent me earlier?"  
"N-"  
"There's nothing wrong with liking chub!" Jade shouts defensively. "Besides," she glares at Sollux, "he's not fat! Only chubby!" Karkat feels a small, grateful smile twitch at his face, but he quickly smothers it with a scowl. "It's perfectly normal!"  
Vriska scoffs. "On Earth, maybe!" She wrinkles her grey nose in disgust. "On Alternia, nobody had 'chub'. We're the perfect species designed for survival! We-"  
"Ladies." Dave looks up, glaring specifically at Vriska. "we're on neither Earth nor Alternia. This is Earthania, and-"  
"I still think it should havve been named Alterthia!" Eridan pipes up. He glances at Karkat, two seats away. "It's good to see you're happier noww, Kar. You deservve it." Karkat smiles gratefully at Eridan.  
"Thanks, man," he says quietly. He hadn't forgotten their old- and very strange- friendship from before the game. Then, as if remembering, he shakes his head. "This isn't what this meeting is about, though. Dave, did you translate it?" He nods to the sheet of paper.  
The human nods, passing it to Rose, who reads it, then passes it on to Kanaya with a disturbed expression. It takes a while before the paper gets to Karkat. The troll frowns slightly, reading it in silence, then again out loud.  
"If it was ever told / By a man who was so bold / To say he knew the plot / of the sorry five lot / Then to him I would tip my glass / and smile as I would pass / For as good the tale, I confess I'd skip her / That claims to know Jack the Ripper." A collective whispers ripples through the humans in their group, a nervous wave, and Karkat asks, "Who's Jack the Ripper?"  
"A serial killer from Earth," Rose replies. "I fear someone is now walking in his footprints."

Two nights later, Karkat is startled out of his sleep by the sound of retching. He sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and slip his legs off the side of the bed. "Dave?" he calls, pushing himself to his feet.  
"In here," Karkat hears Dave groan out from the bathroom. Karkat quickly moves toward the voice, heart pounding, worry displayed clearly on his face.  
Beside the toilet, leaning his head over it and heaving, Dave Strider kneels on shaky legs. Karkat kneels beside him, gently rubbing his matesprite's back. "should I be worried?" the troll asks Dave softly.  
It takes a minute and a half before Dave can pull his head up and look at Karkat. "Shit, I don't know," Dave mumbles. "These are questions for Lalonde and Maryam, since they're the smart girls of the group." He holds out his arms to the troll.  
"Kanaya doesn't know much about human reproduction," Karkat replies, helping the human up carefully. "Did you learn any of this from your lusus- I mean, brother?" Dave shakes his head, a sad expression on his face, and shuffles, zombie-like, to the bath tub. Karkat beats him to it, turning the handle to allow warm water to flow into the tub. Then, when the water is to the prefered temperature, he plugs the drain and turns toward Dave. "While you're getting cleaned up, I'll send your ectosister a text for help, okay?"  
"Bring the phone in here, 'kay?" Dave mumbles. "I don't want to be alone for too long." Karkat nods and goes to retrieve his phone. Dave sighs and leans against the wall, looking down and pressing his hands to his stomach. The skin was still uncomfortably tight on front, but as he moves his hands to his sides, he pauses. There, just above his hips, was a new, barely noticeable, layer of flesh. "Fuck," he mumbles, gently pressing his finger down. Not even half a centimetre before he hit bone, but the new layer of fat was there. "God damnit."  
Karkat comes in a split second later, and Dark quickly drops his hands. "Dave?" the troll asks curiously. "what were you doing?" His expression betrayed nothing but concern.  
"Nothing," Dave replies, too quickly for his liking. He tries again. "I was just hanging out and thinking, Karkles. Don't worry about it." He winces slightly at his choice of words.  
Karkat frowns deeply, but doesn't push the subject. Instead, he sits on the sink counter, unlocking his phone and tapping Rose's contact icon when he gets to his messaging app. Dave glances at him, meeting the troll's eyes, and quickly undresses before carefully sinking into the warm bath water.  
The troll finds himself staring at his matesprite's body, feeling his lips twitch into a small smile. He then quickly turns his attention to his phone.

carcinoGeneticist (CG) began trolling tentacleTherapist (TT) at 03:29

CG: ROSE.  
CG: I KNOW IT'S EARLY.  
CG" BUT WE REALLY NEED SOME HELP.  
CG: BECAUSE DAVE AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS NORMAL FOR PREGNANCIES AND SHIT.  
CG: SINCE DAVE'S LUSUS WAS SHIT AT BEING A LUSUS, AND WE DIDN'T HAVE THIS CRAP ON ALTERNIA.  
CG: AND THERE'S NO FUCKING CASES LIKE THIS ON OUR NEW AS HELL PLANET.  
CG: SO YEAH.  
CG: PLEASURE JUST FUCKING ANSWER ALREADY.  
TT: Karkat, it is three in the morning.  
TT: Why on Earthania are you awake?  
CG: DAVE LOST ALL FOOD IN HIS DIGESTION SACK.  
TT: He threw up?  
CG: YES.  
TT: That's normal. It is called, in a common term used on Earth, morning sickness.  
TT: It should go away in the next month or so, if our calculations are correct. Typically, morning sickness lasts through the entire first trimester.  
TT: If he is not already experiencing them, he should soon be having odd cravings. I believe it would be best to go along with them, as his hormones will be highly out of control.  
TT: I suggest you do not have any of your mutual stuffing sessions, as I am not too certain of how it would affect him and the baby.  
TT: There is a human doctor I suggest you go see.  
TT: She was very well-known on Earth for dealing with these sorts of situations, though... they are not technically the same. It is the closest to a solution we can get currently.  
TT: xxx-xxx-xxxx.  
CG: THANKS.

carcinoGeneticist (CG) ceased trolling tentacleTherapist (TT) at 03:57

"Karkat," the human meets the troll's gaze, "I'm sorry for waking you up."  
The troll places his phone down on the counter, sliding off it slowly. He sits down beside the tub, smiling at Dave. "You don't have to apologise," Karkat says gently, placing a hand on his matesprite's bare shoulder. "I'm your matesprite slash boyfriend; I want to be there for you, especially through this." He eyes his matesprite's slightly swollen belly. "does it hurt?"  
"Not really," Dave replies, placing a hand on it. "I mean, it's really uncomfortable having this right in front of me like 'sup'. I'm not used to it. Plus, I'm only, what, two months along? I'm starting to wonder if there's something wrong. I don't know if I'm actually supposed to be this size or not." He sighs. "I wish Bro wasn't such a shit guardian. Any sort of sex education would be better than not knowing what the fuck is happening, even thou-"  
"Dave," Karkat interrupts gently. The human looks up, and soft thumbs wipe tears away from his eyes. "We'll figure this out together, okay? Two clueless assholes." The human chuckles.  
"Okay."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk Strider discovers something. Dave and Karkat become even more confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I GOT A NEW LAPTOP, PEOPLE. That means I can actually do all the things on this!!! If I can figure out how to add pictures to my chapters, I can digitalize them and then put them up here. ^_^ Also, since there is a PesterLog between Dirk and Rose, I am using "dTT" to show when Dirk is speaking, and "rTT" when it is Rose, since both of their chumHandles are "TT". This just clears up the confusion of who is talking, since they also have very similar typing habits.

He couldn't believe it. It was impossible. How could this happen? Why was it happening to him? Didn't he deserve to be normal, to be happy? He was only gone for five minutes, from what he could remember, and yet...  
     The cold orange eyes of a killer stare back at him. Back at Dirk Strider.  
     Back through a mirror.

timaeusTestified (TT) began pestering turntechGodhead (TG) at 18:23

TT: Dave, I need your help.  
TT: Please.  
TT: Dave?  
TT: Fuck.

timeausTestified (TT) ceased pestering turntechGodhead (TG) at 18:49

DirktimeausTestified (dTT)k began pestering RosetentacleTherapist (rTT) at 18:53

dTT: Rose.  
dTT: Rose, please answer.  
dTT: Please, Rose. I don't know what's going on, but I did it.  
dTT: I need to be locked up.  
dTT: I'm dangerous.  
dTT: I did it.  
dTT: I killed her.  
dTT: At least, I think I did.  
dTT: I can't really remember.  
dTt: Fuck, Rose.  
dTT: Something's happening to me.  
dTT: I'm losing memories.  
dTT: I'm blacking out for days at a time, and I don't know what the fuck is happening.  
rTT: Dirk?  
rTT: Please remain calm and explain what you mean by these messages.  
rTT: What do you mean, you killed her?  
rTT: Who is it you have killed?  
dTT: Those girls.  
dTT: The ones showing up dead.  
dTT: I'm scared, okay? I swear I'm not doing this on purpose.  
rTT: Alright, well...  
rTT: What do you mean when you say you're blacking out and losing memories? How long has this been happening?  
dTT: About a month after we beat the game.  
dTT: I didn't think it was that dangerous, since it didn't really happen often or anything and didn't disrupt my day-to-day life.  
dTT: But then everyone from Earth and Alternia appeared.  
dTT: And I haven't been conscious for the past... however long. Not since they got here.  
dTT: How long ago was that?  
rTT: About six months ago.  
dTT: FUCK.  
dTT: I've been out for six months?????  
dTT: Shit, this is bad. I should have told you guys about this.  
rTT: Please calm down, Dirk.  
rTT: If you are capable of coming over, we can speak in person and attempt to figure this out.  
rTT: Unless you would prefer to continue speaking through digital means?  
dTT: No, I'll try to get there.  
rTT: Alright. Again, please remain calm. Might it help for me to contact Dave and the others, so they are made aware also?  
dTT: Not right now. I don't know how they'll react to this situation.  
dTT: I'll be over as soon as I can.  
rTT: Please be careful.

DirktimeausTestified (dTT) ceased pestering RosetentacleTherapist (rTT) at 19:31

turntechGodhead (Tg) began pestering timeausTestified (TT) at 19:46

TG: shit dude  
TG: sorry  
TG: just got out of the fucking bathroom again  
TG: where the hell have you been these past six months  
TG: chicks and shit are being murdered left and right  
TT: I know.  
TT: I'm losing my memories, days, and I think... I think I might be killing these people.  
TG: is this why you werent at the meetings  
TT: What meetings? Rose never mentioned anything about meetings.  
TG: everyones trying to figure out this shit  
TG: weve been having weekly meetings for the past four months  
TG: trying to wrap our heads around this and figure out the patterns  
TT: How many victims have there been?  
TG: about twenty three from what we can tell  
TG: dirk  
TG: you still there  
TG: paging dirk strider  
TG: hello  
TG: shit man you okay  
TT: You need to get me far away from civilization.  
TT: If you have to, knock me out and kidnap me.  
TG: we dont know for sure its you  
TG: but even if it was  
TG: i wouldnt be able to do anything about it  
TG: so others would have to deal with you  
TG: because rose and kanaya went all mama bear on me  
TG: sayinng im in a delicate condition and shit  
TG: and karkles is more protective than usual too  
TG: and he was already really fucking protective to begin with  
TG: but now hes like  
TT: Dave what the fuck are you talking about?  
TG: ultramega protective  
TG: oh nothing  
TG: dont worry about it  
TG: its not important right now  
TG: fuck  
TG: karkats calling me  
TG: gotta go be the helpful boyfriend i try to be  
TG: despite my physical impairments currently  
TT: Shit.  
TT: Dave?

turntechGodhead (TG) ceased pestering timeausTestified (TT) at 20:32

TT: Dave!  
TT: Fuck.

timeausTestified (TT) ceased pestering turntechGodhead (TG) at 20:33

"You have got to be shitting me right now. What the fuck is this, Strider?" Karakt stares pointedly at Dave, who is sitting in the corner of their bedroom, perch atop a pile of blankets and pillows. He is wrapped in the fluffy red one that they'd got from Kanaya two months prior as a "Good Luck Gift", as the female troll had put it. "Dave. Dave, why." The troll sighs.  
     Dave grins sheepishly at Karkat. "Come join me?" he asks hopefully. Karkat rolls his eyes and sits down beside the human, a scowl hiding an amused expression. Dave beams, leaning against the short troll and nuzzling his face into the troll's soft neck.  
     "Did you really have to steal all the blankets from the hive?" Karkat asks, wrapping an arm around his matesprite's waist. Dave shrugs slightly, cuddling into his boyfriend's soft side. Karkat unintentionally lets out a low purr of satisfaction from the contact. The two stay that way for a few minutes before Karkat glances down at Dave and speaks. "I'm worried about you, you know." Dave looks up at the troll curiously, a small frown replacing the content smile on his face. "You've been more distant than usual, you've been avoiding food, and now you're making nests in closets. I don't know much about human reproduction, Dave, but I don't think this is normal. Can I do anything to help?"  
     The human sighs lightly, sitting up and looking down at his lap. "I don't know why I've been acting this way," Dave admits with a shrug. "I mean, with the nesting part. I've... not been eating because, well... I don't like this new weight on me. I want it off. It makes me sick to see my body now, but I didn't want to tell you, because I know you like it. It's just... I can't feel happy when I look at myself."  
     Karkat sighs. "I've told you that I'll find you attractive and love you no matter how you look. That still stands, Dave." The troll frowns, placing a hand on the human's stomach. "But please... you're carrying our grub- er, kid- and it's depending on you for life. If you try to starve yourself, it's not just hurting you. Let's just... get through this pregnancy, then you can lose the weight if you still want to. Alright?"  
     "Alright," Dave replies quietly.  
     Karkat smiles, nuzzling his matesprite affectionately. "Do you have any other worries you want to get off your chest, since I guess this has turned into a feelings jam?" Dave chuckles, shaking his head and running his fingers through the troll's fluffy hair. "I love you, Dave."  
    "Love you, too, Karkles."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat has a nightmare, but it's... different. Dave admires Karkat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I am pretty sure I am addicted to KitKats. Like, come on man. Nobody can love KitKats this much. Also, made the mistake of trying to eat an entire pizza after having ramen and snacking throughout the day. ReGrEtS wErE mAdE. OH, and this is a chapter that delves into my occasional dreams that make me wake up and think "Well god damn" at one in the morning, wondering if I would actually enjoy it. Wait, what.  
> Also, I know this is short, but I just really wanted to get a chapter out to you, since I wrote this ages ago and have since then hit a little writer's block.

The troll squirms uncomfortably in the restraints. It had been a normal day; he and Dave had been goofing off around the house, neither of them seeing a single person the entire day. That was unusual, since either Rose or Kanaya (or both) stopped by around noon each day now. That should hae been his first clue.  
     The second should have been the fact that Dave- six months pregnant by now- was as thin as the day they'd first arrived on Earthania. He should have known something was wrong, but he didn't.  
     Now, Karkat was tied to a chair, something (he wasn't sure what) blocking his nose, forcing him to breathe through his mouth. The air he inhaled almost drove him insane. It smelled and tasted like the cakes Dave would occasionally bake. (Surprisingly, the human was a fantastic baker, giving John's father a run for his money.) He didn't know what was happening. The smells were starting to drive him insane. "Dave!" Karkat calls helplessly, trembling.  
     Suddenly, the human's in front of him. Karkat suddenly realizes that the smell- that infuriatingly intoxicating smell- was coming from Dave Strider. "Karkat." The human steps toward the troll, pulling something out from behind his back and- oh god, it's a cake. It looks amazing, and Karkat's stomach growls angrily, even though they'd eaten not even half an hour ago.  
     Karkat opens his mouth to speak to Dave, though he doesn't know what he was going to say, but he's stopped when Dave shoves something in his mouth. It's a thick liquid, Karkat can tell, and his mind rightfully labels it as a chocolate milkshake. How did it... he needs to breathe, and in doing so, he chugs down what is in his mouth. He takes a deep breath, then feels a piece of the cake Dave had made get shoved into his mouth. Karkat whines quietly, but eats it, anyway. They continue like this until three quarters of the cake was gone, and Karkat was left feeling bloated. He looks down at himself, and is shocked to find he can't see more than his knees under his round belly. His thighs were being crushed, but he could only shift them open a little, because the arms on the chair kept them that way. Again, he opens his mouth, but this time, it's to let Dave slip another piece of cake into it. He'd begun to feel almost uncomfortably full, breathing heavily.  
     "One more piece," Dave keeps saying, but it's never the case. Karkat can almost feel time slipping away as Dave feeds him piece after piece of cake. He lets out a low groan as what feels like the fifteenth slice is shoved into his mouth.  
     "No more," Karkat whimpers, pained. "It hurts..." But then it doesn't. He feels something warm seemingly cover his belly, and he looks down. His eyes grow wide as he sees what was a rock-hard stomach packed with cake melt into layers of fat covering his already thick frame. Then, he feels pain again- but it's because his stomach is growling once more, demanding food. And Dave is glad to give it.  
     But now, there's no more cake, so Dave switches to another tactic. Karkat feels something- a tube of some sorts- get inserted into his mouth, and in an instant, the same thick liquid from before is running down the tube and into his mouth. Karkat's panicking by now, and he tries to shake his head away, but he can't move it. He can't breathe, so he does the only thing he can think of- he sucks down the milkshake, whimpering as the minutes tick by and he feels the pain of being overfull. And again, when it gets to be too much, the hardness of his belly softens until it jiggles at the slightest movement. His thighs are being crushed together by the chair's arms, it's getting harder to look down to see the damage that's being done to his body. But he manages, and his eyes widen when he sees those small indents- Dave calls it cellulite- covering his stomach, alongside long, angry red stretch marks. He squirms to try escaping, but his binds, which are growing ever tighter around his wrists and ankles, won't let him. "You have to finish to leave," Dave growls, and it's not his voice. "It's not polite to refuse food, fatass." Karkat feels tears prick his eyes, but he continues his task hesitantly. It feels like years, but eventually the last of the shake is done. By now, his stomach- even when morphed back to its soft state- was digging painfully into his jeans, and his shirt was nearly ripping at the seams. When the funnel is finally- FINALLY- removed from his mouth, Karkat sighs in relief. "We're not fucking done until those clothes of your rip," Dave snarls, pressing his hands down onto Karkat's still-swollen belly. Karkat groans in pain, barely noticing the next round that somehow manages to float its way into the dining room from the kitchen. It was... fuck, it was chocolate cheesecake. There was even a normal cake, but roughly three times the size of anything else he'd eaten that day, and a few 2L bottles of the human coca cola.  
     Dave starts Karkat on the cheesecake, and the troll finds himself involuntarily devouring the entire thing. This time, the bloating in his belly doesn't go down, and Karkat is panting and crying. "Please, no..." Karkat whines, but Dave uses that as a chance to shove the seemingly endless supply of cake into his mouth. Then comes the soda.  
     Again, when it's completely finished, Karkat sighs- then his face burns bright red as he hears a snap, a tear, and his overstuffed belly surges onto his entire lap, even over it. The feeling of pressure on his crotch is too much, and his hips buck up, desperate for friction, and-

Dave knew he was being weird and creepy, but his sleeping boyfriend was just too vulnerable for him to stop himself. Besides, Karkat was responding, even if it was in his sleep. Dave took it as encouragement.  
     It started when Dave woke up to Karkat pressing himself tightly against his back. Dave rolled over so he was facing the troll, admiring his sleeping form- their blankets had been kicked off sometime during the night. Dave's eyes trail down the troll's grey body, noting how the hand that was placed on the troll's belly made a small dent in the soft flesh, and that Karkat was unconsciously rubbing it while letting out pleased chirps and chirrs. Dave lowers one of his hands, placing it on the troll's stomach and kneading it gently. The best way he could explain the feeling of it was doughy- soft and squishy.  
     The human shifts down, kissing Karkat's belly, and the troll purrs. Dave momentarily thinks he'd woken up, but he finds that Karkat is, in fact, still asleep. Dave smiles slightly, massaging the troll's stomach and kissing it. Karkat's purring and chirps become little gasps of pleasure as Dave works on covering the whole expanse in his touch. It goes on like this for a while, Dave wanting to do many different things to Karkat, but not while the troll is asleep, until Karkat's hips buck, and his eyes snap open. Karkat lets out a low groan when he feel's Dave's- the real Dave, and not the horrible one from his dream- covering his soft middle in kisses. "Dave..." Karkat groans, pulling the human up and kisses the human. There's no gentleness to it, no reason other than the fact that he- for some reason- wanted to be fucked, and wanted it at that very moment. From that horrorfest of a dream? Was it a horrorfest if he woke up painfully horny and starving for contact?  
     "Hey, Karkles."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat feels as though he hasn't eaten in weeks, and there's an entire house of food (plus takeout). Dave returns from a visit with Rose and Kanaya to find Karkat in a bit of a predicament.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for being gone for so long! I lost interest in writing for a while, then forgot this story was a thing, but now I'm back and ready to write. Why does inspiration strike at the worst hours of the day (midnight)?

Karkat wakes slowly, drowsiness weighing his body down.  
     The troll goes to wrap an arm around his matesprite, but when his arms connect with only bedsheet, Karkat opens his eyes and looks at where Dave should be sleeping. In his place, placed neatly on the pillow, was a note in elegant handwriting. It was one of the first things Karkat had learned about Dave when they'd first got together; Dave couldn't print for shit, but when it came down to cursive, if felt as if he was reading a letter from royalty.

 _Karkles,_  
  _Rose called at about nine and told me to head over there._  
_I didn't want to wake you, since you were sleeping so_  
_peacefully, so I decided to go by myself. Breakfast (or lunch,_  
_depending on when you wake up) is in the microwave._  
_Just nuke it. I'll be back for dinner._  
_ <3_  
_Dave  
PS. You drool when you sleep._

"Fucking asshole," Karkat says affectionately before heaving himself out of the bed. As he stretches, he glances at the clock, discovering it was nearly one in the afternoon already. He chuckles to himself, making his way out of their room and to the kitchen. As his matesprite promised, a large and nearly overflowing plate of breakfast was sitting in the microwave. Karkat snorts when he sees the amount of food that Dave had managed to get onto the plate, and he closes the microwave door to heat it up.  
     As he waits, Karkat sits in a chair at the table, shifting ever so slightly to get comfortable. There were no arms on this chair, which Karkat was grateful for; he didn't want to be reminded of his dream from that night.  
     Karkat stands again a few seconds later and heads to the fridge, pulling out a jug of apple juice from one of the shelves (as much as he denied it, he had grown to enjoy the taste). He pauses before shrugging and placing it on the counter, closing the fridge behind him, then opening it up again and searching for the vanilla yogurt Dave 'hid' in the back. Why the human was ashamed of enjoying something that wasn't covered in grease and artificial cheese dust, Karkat would never know.  
     As the microwave dings, signaling that his food is ready, Karkat stands straight and closes the fridge again, bringing the yogurt and apple juice to the living room. He then goes back to grab his breakfast, nearly dropping it as his hands touch the hot plate. Hissing through his teeth and cursing the human God, the troll goes back to the living room and sets the plate down. He sits on the couch, grabs a pillow and places it on his lap, and then places his plate of food on the pillow. As Karkat takes the first bite, his appetite suddenly wakes with a vicious growl, and it takes almost too much control to not scarf down the plate.  
     He reaches for the yogurt next, opening the lid and discovering it was a brand-new container, and finishes it within seconds. Karkat sighs when his stomach growls louder, and he places a hand on it, rubbing gentle circles into the soft flesh. He'd noticed they'd been out of food when he was in the kitchen, and he was still starving, so he heaves himself up and goes to his room to grab his cell sitting on the bedside table. Maybe he'd just order a little extra...

An hour later, Karkat has paid for the ludicrous amount of food now sitting by the couch as he eats a pizza- all meat, with extra pepperoni. There were three others exactly like it- Karkat reasoned with himself, saying he'd eat whatever he didn't finish for lunch the next day- as well as four family orders of Chinese takeout. The delivery man that had given it to him had stared at him for a good three minutes before remembering that staring was rude and they exchanged money for food. Karkat leans back on the couch, devouring the pizza in less than ten minutes. He begins on the second, hardly realizing he's rocking his hips and one hand has drifted down.  
     Forty-five minutes later, Karkat has made a large dent in the food. The front of his pants are also stained red, as well as the couch underneath him, but he barely notices. The only thoughts going through his mind are that of food and, momentarily, wondering if he had somehow been bewitched. Those thoughts are soon cast out, however, when Karkat reaches for the next slice of pizza- he'd spaced them out- and realizes the last slice was gone. He sits up, reaching for a box of sweet and sour pork, and suddenly notices the pressure in his belly. He rubs his stomach, a loud moan escaping his lips, and he closes his eyes. "Jegus fucking-" Karkat doesn't get to finish the sentence, because at that exact moment, the front door is unlocked and none other than Dave Strider walks into the house.

 

Dave Strider sits on the couch, watching Rose and Kanaya work in another room as he waits for the conversation- the whole reason he'd come out here.  
     Despite being only six months pregnant, Dave looked bigger, closer to nine months. He waddled when he walked, his back and feet ached constantly, and he was in an almost permanent state of arousal and self-loathing. At least the morning sickness had stopped a month ago; he didn't know if he'd be able to handle that added to everything else. He feels something shift in his abdomen.  
     Dave places his hands on his swollen stomach, looking down at the oversized mass with curious wide eyes. "What-" The movement comes again, and somewhere in the back of Dave's mind comes a thought. "Holy shit," he whispers, his head snapping up. "Rose! Kanaya!"  
     His voice must have sounded panicked, though he was anything but, because the girls rush into the room with freaked out expressions. "What?" Rose asks, her voice shaking as she kneels in front of her ectobrother. "Dave, what happened? Are you hurt? Where? What-"  
     "I think I felt the baby move," Dave says quietly, his expression morphing in an overjoyed one. Before he knows it, he's grinning from ear to ear, smiling down at his stomach. "I think my baby moved..." It was the first time he'd called it his, and not just 'the baby', because it was at that moment that Dave realized just how much he already loved this life that was growing in him, made by him and Karkat.  
     Rose and Kanaya knew this, and they looked at each other, their features softening as they realized Dave hadn't been in any danger to begin with. Kanaya kneels down beside Rose, placing a pale grey hand on Dave's stomach, and giggles as something shifts under it. Rose looks up at her brother, surprised to find him crying. But they weren't tears of pain or sadness; they were of happiness. "Dave," Rose says, a small smile creeping onto her lips as she takes a seat on the chair opposite him, "Have you decided what you want to do now?"  
     "Yes," Dave whispers, gazing down lovingly at his stomach. "I'm keeping it."

Dave walks through the front door, his grin plastered to his face, one hand resting on the top of his belly. The hand hadn't moved from the position since he left Rose and Kanaya's place almost half an hour ago.  
     Him and Karkat make eye contact as he closes the door, and a silence fills the room, interrupted only by the slight murmuring of the television. Dave's eyes flick down to Karkat's stomach, which is exposed, his chest, which is pressed tightly against a too-small shirt; one of Dave's shirts, he realizes. His gaze travels down to his boyfriend's legs, and he notices the red stain on the crotch, as well as the fact that the already-tight sweat pants seem even tighter than usual.   
     Then he sees the amount of food on the table. Or, correction- the amount of food containers on the table and floor. Only two boxes were unopened, and as Dave takes his shoes off and walks over to Karkat, he notices that the opened containers are all empty. His gaze flicks to his boyfriend's stomach, swollen painfully and covered in angry red stretch marks. Dave bites his lip, taking a seat beside the troll, and looks at him. Karkat stares back. "You, uh..." He glances back at the unopened containers, suddenly noticing his own hunger. "You gonna eat that?"  
     Karkat's stomach growls loudly, making the human jump in surprise, and Karkat look down at his belly in shock. "You can have it..." Karkat mumbles, looking away as a dark red blush appears on his cheeks. He immediately regrets it as his gaze lands on the empty food boxes. "Fuck," he whispers, "I ate so much..."  
     Dave shifts slightly, leaning forward and grabbing one of the unopened containers. "I wish I'd seen it," he admits quietly. He takes a bite of his food, leaning back in the chair and placing his feet up. They were swollen and sore, but he wasn't going to mention it to Karkat. He closes his eyes as he places a hand on his stomach again and says, "The baby moved."  
     Immediately, Karkat is sitting upright and staring at Dave. The human cracks open an eye, smiling when he sees Karkat's excited expression. Karkat leans forward, placing a soft kiss on Dave's belly. "It feels so real now, doesn't it?" Karkat murmurs, a small smile on his lips. "We're really going to be parents, aren't we?"  
     Dave nods. "Yeah," he replies, "we are."


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and Karkat have sexy time and plan for the new addition to the family. Dave, Karkat, and John have a greatly needed chat.

Dave Strider wakes up the next morning to find himself pressed against Karkat tightly, his hips rocking against the troll's stomach in a desperate need for friction. He'd woken this way many times already, the desire to be fucked rooted so deeply in him that he almost couldn't handle it. Most mornings, he'd waddle into the bathroom and deal with it himself, since he didn't want to wake Karkat; the troll always slept until around eleven in the morning. His hand moves down to his crotch as he rocks his hips against his hand.  
     Today, though, Dave opens his eyes to find Karkat looking at him in confusion. "Dave?" Karkat asks quietly. Dave bites his lip, his hips bucking as he lets out a low moan. Karkat's eyes widen slightly. "How often do you wake up this way?"  
     "Almost every morning..." Dave admits shakily, forcing himself to stay still.  
     "Why don't you wake me?" Karkat whispers, wrapping an arm around his matesprite's waist. He kisses him, and Dave kisses back.  
     Dave lets out a soft gasp as Karkat's knee gently rubs him. "I-I don't want to bother you..." he replies. Karkat sighs and kisses the human's neck.   
     "I want to be bothered," Karkat tells him simply. "This is a wonderful way to wake up."

turntechGodhead (TG) began pestering ectoBiologist (EB) at 13:18  
TG: john  
TG: hey john  
TG: we need to talk  
TG: please  
TG: can you answer dude  
TG: we havent had a talk for a really long time  
TG: like god damn  
TG: are you back on cryptid status  
TG: do i need to start rapping to get your attention  
TG: okay its been like ten minutes im gonna start  
TG: yo my best bro the egbro  
TG: why wont you chat  
TG: id say hurry before the world ends but weve already been through that  
EB: oh my god dave!  
EB: your rapping has somehow gotten even worse over the years!  
TG: what  
TG: nah man  
TG: my sick rapping is like fine wine  
TG: only gets better with age  
EB: i actually want to kill you right now.  
TG: no you dont  
TG: you love me man  
TG: no homo  
EB: dave, we both know that the no homo coming from you is a lie.  
TG: youre right  
TG: im the gayest gay in gaysville  
TG: karks could definitely ag  
TG: dude no give my phNO YOU ASSHOLE.  
EB: dave?  
TG: OH MY FUCKING GOD.  
TG: JOHN, WHY.  
EB: karkat?  
TG: NO SHIT.  
TG: OH YEAH, DAVE'S CURRENTLY IN THE BATHROOM.  
TG: I THINK HIS MORNING SICKNESS IS BACK.  
EB: uhhhh... you guys weren't joking about that?  
TG: WHY THE FUCK WOULD WE JOKE ABOUT THIS?  
TG: OKAY HE'S BACK.  
TG: WE SHOULD ALL TALK.  
TG: I'M MAKING A GROUP CHAT.

turntechGodhead (TG) ceased pestering ectoBiologist (EB) at 13:45

carcinoGeneticist (CG) has created group FUCKERS  
carcinoGeneticist (CG) has logged on at 13:46  
turntechGodhead (TG) has logged on at 13:46  
ectoBiologist (EB) has logged on at 13:49  
CG: FUCKING FINALLY.  
EB: it's been three minutes.  
CG: EXACTLY.  
CG: THREE MINUTES LONGER THAN YOU NEEDED TO TAKE.  
TG: karks come on lay off him  
CG: FINE.  
TG: okay so  
TG: not that im complaining or anything  
TG: but whyd you make the group  
TG: were literally in the same room  
TG: i couldve typed what you said  
CG: BECAUSE YOU'D HAVE TWISTED MY WORDS AND MADE THEM SOUND BAD.  
EB: karkat's got a point, dave.  
TG: damn  
TG: two against one  
TG: but i have the wrath of a pregnant woman  
TG: man  
TG: thing  
TG: what the fuck am i anymore  
TG: i dont even know  
CG: DAVE, STOP.  
CG: GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE.  
TG: sorry  
EB: ?_?  
TG: karks is a little busy now  
TG: we figured out how to calm me from that  
EB: how?  
TG: not for your innocent ears to hear  
TG: (he rubs my sides and nuzzles my head its so fucking cute)  
TG: (he chirps)  
EB: (oh my god.)  
TG: (yeah)  
CG: DAVE.  
EB: karkat, you're precious!  
CG: DAVID STRIDER, DID YOU TELL HIM?  
TG: eheheheh  
EB: damn it! sometimes i wish i could be around you two more!  
TG: egbert  
TG: your virgin ass would be scarred for life if you hung around karks and me  
TG: were literally the kinkiest shits youll ever meet  
TG: and we fuck every chance we get  
CG: DAVE, NO MORE ATTENTION FOR YOU.  
TG: dude we both know youll end up snuggling me in the middle of the night like the cold fucker you are  
CG: FUCK. YOU.  
EB: can we get off this topic please????????  
TG: stop with the eight everything!!  
EB: i can't help it! vriska rubs off on me!  
TG: do you two still hang out  
EB: she's actually over right now.  
EB: we're watching movies together.  
TG: not more nic cage  
TG: im telling you man  
TG: that guy is such a shitty actor  
EB: don't say that about a dead guy!  
EB: but yeah, i kinda agree with you.  
EB: why did i even enjoy those movies when we were kids?  
EB: i kinda miss our childhood innocence.  
TG: same dude  
TG: but i definitely dont miss my ass getting kicked by bro all the time  
EB: oh yeah, he never came back, did he?  
TG: yeah he did  
TG: but he took one look at me  
TG: and was like  
TG: kid youre good now  
TG: my little bros a man now  
TG: and just fucking buggered off  
EB: pffffft.  
TG: what  
EB: just think the way you worded that is stupid and funny.  
EB: oh yeah.  
EB: dad's inviting you and karkat to dinner to celebrate the seventh anniversary of our godship!  
EB: and the planet.  
TG: dude this should be a tradition  
TG: it happens every year  
TG: it should be a world holiday  
TG: earthania day  
TG: that would be great  
EB: we can bring it up with the others.  
EB: will you two be coming?  
TG: i will  
TG: not sure about karks  
CG: DAVE, STOP CALLING ME THAT.  
CG: AND OF COURSE I'M GOING TO GO.  
CG: JOHN'S DAD IS A FUCKING FANTASTIC COOK.  
EB: yeah, when he's not baking a shit ton of cakes.  
CG: HIS CAKES ARE FANTASTIC AS WELL.  
CG: DIDN'T HE START A BUSINESS OR SOMETHING?  
EB: yup!  
EB: egbert and lalonde bakery.  
CG: OH YEAH, HIM AND THE ADULT LALONDE ARE TOGETHER, RIGHT?  
EB: yes.  
EB: turns out she really likes baking, too.  
EB: i'm really glad i don't have to live with them.  
CG: OKAY, WELL, ON TO THE MATTERS I WAS WANTING TO BRING UP.  
EB: oh yeah! sorry.  
CG: OKAY.  
CG: WELL, YOU'RE GOOD AT THE CARPENTRY STUFF, RIGHT?  
EB: i'm kinda okay.  
TG: egbert youre fucking awesome at it  
TG: whats this about karks  
CG: AGAIN, STOP CALLING ME THAT.  
TG: kay babe  
CG: ACTUALLY.  
CG: KARKS WORKS FINE.  
TG: nah  
TG: now i know you dont like me calling you babe in front of others  
CG: GO FUCK YOURSELF.  
TG: nah  
TG: thats your job  
EB: oh my god, ew!  
EB: stop it!  
TG: oh shit  
TG: forgot about the virgin man over there  
EB: i'm not a virgin, dave!  
TG: lieeeesss  
CG: OKAY, SHUT THE FUCK UP BOTH OF YOU.  
CG: BUT AS I WAS SAYING.  
CG: COULD YOU MAYBE MAKE A COUPLE THINGS FOR US?  
CG: WE CAN PAY YOU.  
TG: oh my god  
TG: KARKAT NO  
CG: DAVE, THE BABY NEEDS A BED.  
TG: im not placing my childs safety at risk!!!  
TG: were gonna buy a fucking bed for the kid  
CG: THIS IS BUYING ONE, DAVE.  
CG: I TRUST JOHN'S SKILLS MORE THAN THE FACTORY MANUFACTURED DEATH TRAPS THAT STORES SELL.  
TG: no no no no no!  
TG: jegus fuck  
TG: next we know youre gonna be saying vriska should make the fucking blankets  
EB: she's actually pretty good at sewing, dave!  
TG: NO  
CG: I AGREE WITH DAVE ON THAT ONE.  
CG: KANAYA I TRUST.  
CG: VRISKA MURDERED A LOT OF US.  
EB: uuuggggghhhhhhh.  
EB: and dave.  
EB: i promise i'll make the safest baby bed i can.  
EB: i'll test it a bunch!  
EB: and make sure there's no slivers or anything.  
TG: ...  
CG: UHHH...  
CG: DAVE'S PACING AND MUTTERING TO HIMSELF.  
CG: GIVE US A MINUTE.  
EB: okay.

"Dave?" Karkat asks worriedly, watching his matesprite as he paces the living room. Dave pauses and looks at Karkat, a nervous expression on his face. Karkat waves Dave over, and the human walks over to him and lays down on his lap.  
     Karkat runs his fingers through Dave's soft blond hair. "I'm sorry," Dave mumbles quietly, his eyes closed. "I'm just anxious. What if something bad happens? We've been through too much already. Not even soldiers go through the shit we did. I've watched both of us die over and over again. And... I don't want anything bad to happen to this kid. We ourselves were just kids when all this happened. What if-"  
     "Dave," Karkat says gently, "nothing's going to happen to the baby."  
     "But... what if I'm a worse guardian than Bro was?"  
     Karkat's eyes widen slightly. So that's why Dave was so scared. "Listen to me, Dave." The troll pulls Dave upright on his lap and gently massages his sides, kissing his forehead softly. "You're nothing like him. I've seen you around the neighbour's kids. I've seen you shove them out of the way of a moving car, watched you play with them when they come up to you with a toy. Your Bro would have never done that, but you do. The neighbours trust you around the kids. They've asked me if you wanted to babysit them. You're amazing with kids, and ours will grow up in a safe and happy home."  
     Dave is silent, leaning against the troll as his only response. Karkat nuzzles his neck, purring quietly in his ear. "Okay," Dave mumbles after a few minutes. "I'll... I'll be okay with John building the crib.

CG: OKAY, WE'RE GOOD NOW.  
EB: finally!  
TG: youd better make this thing the safest damn thing youve ever made  
EB: i swear it will be, dave.  
EB: i promise.  
TG: okay  
TG: well  
TG: i gotta go get something to eat  
TG: for some reason im wanting pickles  
TG: and cheese puffs  
TG: and ice cream

turntechGodhead (TG) logged out at 14:27

CG: BYE, JOHN.

carcinoGeneticist (CG) logged out at 14:27

EB: bye.  
EB: shit.

ectoBiologist (EB) logged out at 14:28


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Selfishness is not cool kid behaviour, as John so helpfully points out to Dave during a visit. Karkat agrees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To start, I am so so so sorry to my sister, who may or may not read this. Also the final chapter of this part of the story.

Karkat Vantas shifts his weight, suddenly uncomfortable on the bed. It had been only two weeks since him and Dave contacted John, and in that time, John had become a normal part of their life.  
     Today, the black-haired boy was at their house again- this time for a casual visit, or so he had said. The 'casual' visit had turned into John staring at Karkat for a few minutes before Dave became jealous and swept Karkat to their room. "He keeps eyeing you like you're the-"  
     "Selfishness is not cool kid behaviour, Dave!" John shouts from the living room. Dave's face turns bright red, and he goes to walk out of the room. Karkat grabs his arm and pulls him down, kissing him. Dave purrs quietly.  
     Karkat chuckles and pulls back. "He's right, you know," the troll says with a wink. Dave's face turns brighter, and he goes to reply, but Karkat silences him with another kiss. "Let's see how far this goes."

That's what led to Karkat being sat on the couch as both boys- his matesprite and his friend- fed him various foods. John, despite seeming the submissive type, had seemingly flipped a switch. He was sitting on Karkat's lap, or what was left of it, as his stomach took up close to half even when empty. John was all but forcing cupcakes and other sweets into Karkat's open mouth, roughly grinding his hips down to earn a low, gasping moan from the troll every so often.  
     Dave eventually cuts in and gives Karkat a bottle of pop, which the troll eagerly sucks down. His mouth was dry from the amount of sweets John had shoved in it, and he was grateful for the liquid.  
     John pulls something out from his pockets, and Karkat reads the packaging. Dave does, as well, and his eyes widen. He looks at John. "Oh fuck yes," he says, biting the inside of his lip. "I'll get the cola." Karkat looks between them nervously. Surely, if the both of them were excited about it (and Dave so obviously aroused), it wasn't going to be all too comfortable for Karkat. He spreads his large, soft thighs apart slightly, feeling his belly slip between them. He rocks his hips into his stomach, letting out a loud moan as his hips involuntarily buck up, desperate for some form of friction. John chuckles as Dave comes back and sees Karkat practically fucking himself with his stomach. "Needing a little help there?" Dave purrs, waddling over to them and handing John the coca cola he'd brought from the kitchen. Karkat nods, his eyes half-closed as his hand slips between his thighs and rubs himself. Dave kneels down and pushes Karkat's hand away, working the troll's tight pants down. "John," Dave says, and then nothing else. John seems to understand, however, as he moves in with the roll of the candy called Mentos and unwraps them.  
     "You know how to take pills?" John asks, dumping a few of the minty-scented sweets into an open hand. Karkat nods, then lets in a sharp breath as he feels Dave bury his face into his crotch. "Good, because you'll need that skill." John pops one of the candies into Karkat's open mouth, then shoves the opened cola bottle past his lips. "Drink," he demands, and Karkat does as told despite the strange fizzling he feels in his mouth as the pop reacts with the candy.  
     Karkat continues to eat the candies and drink the pop offered to him while Dave licks him from below. The human shoves his tongue into the troll's nook, moving it around with no pattern, and Karkat nearly screams as his vision blurs. It had been months since Dave had done this, and he hadn't lost his skill of making Karkat see stars.  
     The trolls feels a weird bloated sensation in his middle, and he places a hand on the top of his belly as he rocks his hips against Dave's face. It felt as though his stomach was bubbling, a feeling that he didn't mind much, but then grew to mind very much as John continued forcing the candies and pop down his throat, and the bloating started to become visible. 

John Egbert didn't know he was into this, but seeing Karkat turn to putty in front of him as he was fed made him realize that he was, in fact, into this.  
     The troll's stomach, now looking very bloated by the coke and mentos, was heaving with every breath the troll took. His face suddenly turned very red as he all but screamed Dave's name, and Dave came back up covered in red genetic material. The troll pants heavily, watching the humans with half-lidded eyes, and John gets an idea. He crawls on top of Karkat, smirking when the troll somehow manages to turn a brighter shade of red, and purrs in his ear, "What a good little fatty." Karkat whimpers quietly, grabbing the front of John's shirt and yanking him down, kissing him roughly. John is surprised by the act, even more surprised when he finds himself kissing back. When they pull apart, both are out of breath, and John purrs loudly.  
     Dave sits beside Karkat, leaning on him and whispering loud enough for John to hear, "Look at how big you've gotten. But you want to be bigger, don't you~?" Karkat nods, licking his lips. "That won't take long, now that you have two people taking care of that." John bites his lip, suddenly imagining helping Dave make Karkat bigger and bigger until his legs couldn't support his weight. Dave isn't oblivious to John's sudden change in demeanor, and chuckles. "Looks like we've got ourselves a fine piece of ass to share."  
     John's confidence returns a few seconds later, and soon he's grabbing the remainder of the food and feeding it to Karkat, whose eating has slowed considerably but was still faster than any other person's quick eating. "We're going to need more food if we want to keep this one properly fed," John says, glancing at Dave, who is already on his phone and ordering from places they hadn't yet. As John feeds Karkat the rest of the food, he watches Dave, who is looking at the other human and troll every few seconds, one hand rubbing circles into his very large middle. John notices how Dave's fingers dip down into his stomach, and the red-eyed human hardly seems to notice. "Looks like Karkat's not the only one heading for being extra large," John teases, grinning when Dave becomes flustered and hides his face behind one hand. "Though, Karkat's already extra large, and a few sizes over that."  
     "Asshole," Karkat and Dave both say, though neither say it with malice, and Dave puts his phone down. "I've ordered enough to last a small person about a week," he announces. John, who is still seated on Karkat's lap, feels the troll's hips buck up. John lets out a loud moan, eyes closing momentarily, then quickly covers his mouth with one hand. Dave and Karkat stare at John for a few seconds before the former erupts into giggles. "Holy shit," Dave gasps, "the infallible Egbert is fallible!"  
     John looks away, a dark blush forming on his cheeks and neck. "I-I-" he stammers.  
     Dave grins at John, winking at him. "It's cool, man," he says. "I can't even remember the amount of times that's happened to me. It's kinda hard to keep your cool when you have such a perfect fatty under you."  
     "If you weren't pregnant," Karkat grumbles quietly, shooting Dave a half-hearted glare, "I'd lay on you and watch you beg for mercy." John's hips jerk, and Dave turns red and bites his lip. Karkat looks between the two of them and smirks. "You're into that?"  
     "Without a fucking doubt," Dave says.  
     "Holy shit, that's hot," John says at the exact same time. The humans look at each other, and an idea comes to John suddenly. "Hey," he says, looking at Karkat, "how much do you weigh?"  
     Karkat stammers nonsense for a few seconds before finally managing, "I don't know. We don't have a scale."  
     John wrinkles his nose. "Well, that won't do," he says, gently squeezing Karkat's sides. "We can only guess at the moment. I'd say you're close to three-fifty. Dave, what do you think?"  
     "Setting your standards a little low, don't you think?" Dave inquires, smirking. "But we definitely have to find out soon."  
     "Oh fuck yes."

Karkat is still in that position, four hours later, his breathing laboured and painful as John shoves the final piece of pizza into his mouth. Karkat swallows, slowly, panting heavily and laying back when he's done. His hands rub small circles into the overly bloated mass of his belly, and he feels two other sets of hands join in. "You did so well," John purrs.  
     "I've never seen you eat so much," Dave says, placing a kiss on Karkat's swollen gut. "You gonna be okay?" Karkat nods ever so slightly, too exhausted and stuffed to do much else. "Have a nap, love. We'll be here when you wake up."  
     Karkat closes his eyes, giving in to the darkness of sleep.

 

THREE MONTHS LATER

 

Dave Strider wakes slowly, his hands on his stomach as a dull ache pulls him from his dream land. On both sides of him are John and Karkat, his best friend and the love of his life.  
     For a few minutes, Dave sits there in silence, broken only by the breathing of the other boys. John had moved in with them two months ago, so he could be closer to both Dave and Karkat.  
     Finally, Dave heaves himself out of bed, stumbling slightly as the massive weight of his stomach nearly makes him fall over, and waddles to the other bedroom in the house. He walks in, crossing the room in a little under a minute despite the room's small size, and sits down in the rocking chair John had crafted for him the month before. "Every mom needs a rocking chair," John had joked, earning a smack over the head from a moody Dave. Despite the joke, Dave absolutely loved his chair. He closes his eyes, leaning back and rocking back and forth gently, his hands on his stomach. On the other side of the room was the crib John had made, and that Jade and Feferi had painted. John hadn't let him or Karkat see it until it was finished, despite Dave's pestering, but Dave loved that as well. The crib was all the colours of the rainbow, with a grey-and-red blanket Kanaya had sewn laying neatly inside it. All his friends had written their name on the foot of the bed, and Dave had seen Eridan add something to it. It was a message, one that wrote, "Stay young, be free, be you forever". It had made Dave collapse into tears, and Karkat had had to comfort him for the next two hours.  
     There was a dresser that, again, John had made. He'd made all the furniture in the room, had crafted it expertly under the supervision of Rose and Kanaya. The dresser was a light shade, created from the world's equivalent of birch trees, and a shining finish had made the dresser all the more perfect. Dave smiles, his eyes fluttering open as he examines the walls that Karkat had painted. They were a light lavender because, as Karkat had put it, "The world has too many blue and pink baby rooms, and our baby is a fucking special one".  
     A sharp pain in Dave's stomach snaps him out of his daze, and he gasps loudly, letting out a quiet cry of discomfort. He stands slowly as the pain is replaced by a dull throb, and he moves as quickly as he can back to the bedroom he shared. He shakes Karkat awake, his hands shaking as another wave of pain washes over him, and he bites down hard on the inside of his cheek to stifle a loud cry.  
     Karkat mumbles and rolls onto his side, sleepily looking up at Dave. "Strider?" he slurs quietly, blinking a few times before sitting up. "Dave? What's wrong?"  
     Dave takes a few deep breaths before replying, "I'm in a shit ton of pain."  
     Karkat is immediately reaching for the phone and calling Rose and Kanaya. The sound of his panicked voice wakes John, who looks between the two, anxiety showing in his eyes. "What's happening?" he asks.  
     Dave goes to reply, but the pain returns, and this time he can't stop himself from letting out a loud cry and keeling over, falling to the floor as he wraps an arm around his stomach. He hears Karkat's panicked voice faintly. "He came in here saying that he's in pain, and he just fell over." A pause. "What the fuck does that mean?! Rose?!" Dave looks up slowly, watching Karkat through blurred eyes. The troll has gone pale, and he sinks to the floor in front of Dave. "Dave, do you feel as though you-" Dave lets out a near ear-shattering shriek as pain rips through his body, leaving him trembling violently and clinging to Karkat. John has joined them on the ground, rubbing Dave's back as he whimpers and cries. "You heard that, right? It's worse over here. Please get over here." Karkat sounded desperate, Dave notices in the back of his mind before it all but shuts down completely.

Karkat is pacing, his hands shaking, as he waits outside of the room with John. The sound of Dave's screams, the way it sounded as though he was being murdered, nearly made Karkat's heart stop.  
     Finally, hours later, Rose, Kanaya, and the doctor that had been keeping an eye on Dave leave the room. Dave's cries had stopped, replaced by weaker ones, cries that made something deep in the primal part of Karkat's mind react automatically. Before any of the girls could say more than, "You can go-", Karkat is already racing into the room, spotting Dave quickly, and crosses the room in only a few strides.  
     Dave was holding two small somethings in his arms. His expression was soft, and it takes a few minutes for Dave to even notice Karkat was in the room. The trolls sits down in a chair placed beside the bed, leaning over to Dave to look curiously at the two bundles Dave was holding.  
     They looked... almost human, but one had grey skin, and the other, horns. Karkat looks at Dave. "Are they...?" He couldn't finish the sentence.  
     "They're healthy," Dave murmurs, smiling slightly, "and both girls." Karkat erupts in purring, reaching a hand out to touch one of his daughters, but Dave glares at him. "Wash your hands first," he growls. "I don't want them to get sick." Karkat nods and stands to head to the bathroom.  
     When he returns a few minutes later- he'd made sure to scrub up to his elbows in water as hot as he dared- Dave's eyes are closed, and his mouth is hanging open slightly as he leans back in the bed. For a few seconds, Karkat's heart almost stops, thinking his precious matesprite had somehow succumbed to death despite his godly status, but then one of the girls lets out a small cry and Dave opens his eyes to look at her, cooing softly. Karkat smiles and walks over to them, sitting back on the chair once more. "What should we name them?" he asks quietly, reaching out for one of the girls once more. This time, Dave doesn't fight, and hands the grey-skinned one to him. Karkat looks at Dave, studying the right way to hold his daughter for a few seconds before copying and finally- _finally_ \- getting to hold his daughter in his arms. "They're beautiful," Karkat whispers.  
     Dave nods slightly. "They really are," he replies in an equally soft voice. He looks at the girl in his arms, smiling and saying, "this one should be named Rosalind, meaning 'pretty rose'." Karkat grins and nods in agreement.  
     The troll quickly searches his memory for names he'd found online, and their meanings, before saying, "and this one is Cael. I know it's a boy's name," he says quickly, noticing Dave's inquisitive look, "but the name belongs to the angel of my zodiac sign."  
     Dave purrs quietly. "Two names with wonderful meanings and origins." He smiles at Karkat. "They're perfect."  
     Rosalind and Cael Strider-Vantas. Perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S THREE IN THE MORNING AND I NEEDED TO WRITE SOMETHING CUTE AT SOME POINT, OKAY? Not all of this can be super extra.


End file.
